School Soda Ban Has Limited Effect

Story: School Soda Ban Has Limited Effect

I am glad we poured thousands of dollars into researching this. We've been saying all along that if teens want Mountain Dew and Doritos, they are going to have no problems acquiring them. Replacing soda machines with juice and milk doesn't solve childhood obesity, because sugar has been around FOREVER. The only way to take an honest crack at this problem is getting kids active and playing outside again. I'm not sure why schools feel guilty about this shift in childrens' lifestyles.

Teacher faces lawsuit for cutting students hair

Story: Roanoke County school board on sharp end of student's haircut suit

I am pretty sure it's well within a teachers jurisdiction to decide what hair style young boys should have. In actuality, it's up to the mom to allow her child to look like a dirtbag or clean-cut. According the the report, the teacher also "pinned him against a locker and 'growled' at him about his hair." This sounds more like a scene from the movie Teen Wolf than a place to get an education. If the teacher ever has plans to open their own salon, please be advised that your guerrilla marketing plan comes across a bit too aggressive.

8-year-old student punched by teacher

Story: Police say teacher punched 8-year-old student

I can think of a million reasons to punch an 8-year old during class. You can only say you fell down the steps so many times before parents start becoming suspicious that someone is assaulting their child. Something tells me this guy voted 'yes' to corporal punishment. It's just too bad schools don't look too highly upon giving second graders black eyes.

Mom dives into trash after son’s work tossed

Story: Buckhead mom dives into trash after son’s work tossed

A crazy mom goes into her sons school demanding to know why a janitor tossed out the boys science project, so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She never did find the project, and according to the student, he didn't really care about it anyway. Not sure what the mothers big plans were if she did discover it, but we can only assume that if she brought it back home it would have went out with the garbage within days. Neighbors have now concluded that they know why their trash goes missing every week.

Georgia teachers say they’re not as qualified as feds say they are

Story: Georgia teachers say they’re not as qualified as feds say they are

Basically Georgia teachers are admitting they don't have the education or certifications to be classified as "highly qualified." And it's no mystery why Georgia has a graduation rate under 60%.

Schools cancel Thanksgiving dress up

Story: Schools cancel Thanksgiving dress up

The school has had kids dress up like Indians and Pilgrims for over forty years now, but all of a sudden some parents feel the tradition is racist and supports stereotypes. It's not like they are re-enacting wars and leaving bloodshed Native Americans everywhere. It's in innocent class of five-year olds who probably get the most fun by cutting shapes out of colored construction paper. Some protesters are also pushing for a holiday the day after Thanksgiving to honor American Indians, but it is predicted that too many panicky shoppers will be too busy loading up on electronics at Best Buy to remember to celebrate.

Bus Driver Asked Cheerleaders to Lift Up Shirts for $40

Story: Massachusetts School Bus Driver Allegedly Asked Cheerleaders to Lift Up Shirts for Money

Sometimes when I am driving home a bus full of high school cheerleaders, my mind plays tricks on me and I think I am at a strip club. It's a sure-fire mistake to lose your job every time. It is rumored that in his severance package, he asked to collect his unemployment money in all single dollar bills.

Teacher charged after student found in closet

"Actually it's just a teenage girl I convinced to run away from home and live with me."

Teacher charged after student found in closet

Normally a closet is a great place for a 17-year old girl to hang out. This is because all of her shoes and clothes are there. But if it's in some guys house and you need it as a hiding space because you've been missing for over two weeks, it loses some of its appeal.

Teacher guilty of filming girls in bathroom

Story: Ex-Millbrae school teacher who filmed in girls bathroom gets 2 years

Who would have thought that in the year 2008 a teacher would try to get away with this. He was caught when the tech coordinator realized that the network was slowing down, mostly due to bathroom footage streaming onto this teachers computer. After an investigation, he was also found with drugs, and two tin cans connected by a string...which was believed to be used to retrieve audio from the girls room.

Teacher sells advertisements on tests

Story: Funds sliced, teacher sells ads on tests

Well parents, your kids math tests have now been bought out by corporate America. The students actually admit they look forward to seeing the ad. Which in marketing terms, means "It's working!" So even after taking an hour long quiz, what have the students really learned? That everyone has a price. So while the teacher is making the money needed, the students are getting tired of taking five tests every week.

Cheerleaders' parents sue in nude photos incident

Story: Cheerleaders' parents sue in nude photos incident

I am not sure how the parents are going to approach this one. At some point they'll have to come to terms with the fact that their 16-year old daughters took naked pictures of themselves, sent them to friends over the phone, and in short time the pics spread like wild-fire around the school. Last I checked that is still classified as distribution of underage porn. It must have been a lot easier years ago when all a principal had to do was raid a football players locker to find stacks of Hustler.

New York School Renames Itself For Obama

Story: New York School Renames Itself For Obama

It's not that DetentionSlip doesn't have faith that president elect Obama will make an impact, but the city of Miami also invested their hopes that Jose Canseco would one day become the greatest baseball player ever when they began naming everything in the city after him. The lesson here: let's allow Barack to spread his wings a little before we toss him into the air to fly.

Student arrested for farting and turning off computers

Story: Martin County student arrested for passing gas, turning off classmate's computer

Don't worry, you read it right the first time. This 13-year old boy had a habit of disrupting class by breaking wind and turning peoples computers off. CLEARLY, the only solution to resolve this is by placing him in handcuffs. Again, are we trying our best to create criminals at the earliest age possible? We understand that there are some challenging behaviors in the classroom, but their has to be a more positive way of engaging him than arresting the boy. On a related note, several other students in the school have reported flatulence problems and stomach cramps in fear that releasing a fart will land them in similar trouble.

Porn star works in elementary school

Story: Vineland school aide in adult films

For some odd reason parents are a little uneasy that one of their childrens helpers used to star in porn movies. Maybe it's because they want their kids to grow up with morals and ethics and don't feel comfortable with them being able to download nude pics of their teachers online. For those readers who wish to form their own opinions, her name was Crystal Gunns.

Girl, 10, Drafted School Hit List

Story: Girl, 10, Drafted School Hit List

There is no reason a 10-year old needs to have a hit list. She needs to have a Barbie collection. We will see if the school decides to label her as a terrorist and criminal, or if they realize that she is just a young girl who needs some friends to talk to.

Bayside High Student Suspended For ‘Noose’

Story: Bayside High Student Suspended For ‘Noose’

Another case of an uneducated white kid who thinks it's cute to have a noose hanging from his truck. It is alleged that the rope may have been used for a trailer hitch, but what he planned on hitching is unclear. Something tells me this boys' father will defend the knot.

Teen In Trouble For Hugging Teacher

Story: Teen In Trouble For Hugging Teacher

It would suck to have a juvenile record at the age of 13 for committing a sex crime. It would suck even more if the charge was for "hugging." It's not like this kid pressed the teacher into her car in the parking lot after hours. Well, if we can't encourage students to be friendly and show affection, we can only assume we are teaching them the opposite.

Teacher Accused of Sending Nude Photos To Teen

Story: Former Teacher Accused of Sending Nude Photos To Teen

Here's the burning question: Did the rise and accessibility of technology help expose all the child predators, or have adults become so desperate that any 14-year old will do? If for some reason you are into taking nude pics of yourself and downloading them on cell phones, and what point does the next obvious step become sending them to an underage teen? All I know is that we have a long road ahead of us until we purge all these helpless teachers from the education system.

Letter to student athletes shocks parents

"I could have been All-State..."

Narcisse e-mail to student shocks parents, dismays board

One school board member took it upon himself to inspire athletes to keep their grades up by telling them if they don't they'll end up offering oral sex to strangers for money. While the analogy may seem a bit extreme, the message remains that he feels these teens need some tough love. Critics argue that perhaps some more tactful words could have been used. Once this story blew, the man immediately began challenging parents to push-up contests.

Teacher who voted out autistic student suspended

Perhaps you remember the story about the teacher who had the great idea to allow her students to single out a mentally handicapped 5-year old and vote him out of the classroom. Well, the votes have been tallied and to no ones surprise, she no longer has a job! Her students can go back to treating everyone fairly and she can spend her spare time harassing children at the Special Olympics.

Book removed from middle school libraries

Story: Book removed from Round Rock middle school libraries

The book, TTYL, is about teenage girls who text message each other. Parents can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that there is some sexually suggestive material in the book. The irony here is that most likely every single teenage girl at this middle school has had texting conversations far more inappropriate than TTYL's content. But rather than check their daughters' phones, let's just blame the school for encouraging these behaviors.

Student Arrested for Setting Off Sprinkler

Story: Howard Middle School Student Arrested for Setting Off Sprinkler

I guess there's no messing around anymore. He was taken to a Juvenile Detention Center for charges of "resisting arrest, vandalism over $500, disrupting a meeting or public assembly, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and making a false report (false alarm)." Sounds like he would have been better off actually starting a fire.

Fifth bomb threat at elementary school

Story: Bomb Threats Disrupting Student Learning

Just as the rest of us grew up to become desensitized to tornado or fire drills, pupils today have no sense of fear when they hear about the possibility of a bomb at their school. At first they might get excited for missing class, but after a couple of them in the same week it just becomes a nuisance to have to walk all the way outside until everything is cleared. It's just so much easier to stay in class.

Man robs school cafeteria

Story: Arrest Made In Deerlake Middle School Theft

Why take just one kids lunch money when you can go right for the cafeteria cash register? As everyone knows, schools make loads of money daily during lunch time. I mean, after you factor in the amount of students that most likely qualify for free or reduced lunch, we are probably looking a maybe a couple hundred dollars he could have got away with. After weighing the cost-benefit analysis, experts would be foolish to disagree that the risk is not worth it.

Student killed from prop gun before play

Story: 15-year-old killed by theater gun prop

The parents are asking why a lethal gun is being used in a student play. I think it's a fair question. Although I have never seen the Broadway production of Oklahoma!, something tells me there isn't a part that involves a 15-year old boy getting shot with a .38 caliber pistol backstage. Sad indeed, but without proper supervision some accountability needs to be taken.

Piercings keep husband of student out of dances

Story: Piercings keep husband of student out of dances

Summary: Girl wants to take boyfriend (now husband) to school dance. Boy has a history (he was once a student) of being warned to remove piercing and change hair style. School says boy cannot attend dance unless his piercings are not present. Boy, who is no longer a student, still somehow has his basic rights oppressed by a public school. What a fun world we live in.

Police on campus at school after teacher arrested

Story: Police on campus at Harford school after teacher arrested

After going on a string of threatening teachers and slapping girls on the butt, this teacher was eventually committed for treatment. We can only assume it was stressful work conditions and low-pay that lead to this right? Or maybe we can come to terms with the fact that some teachers are in fact nuts.

Marching Band Routine Offends Mental Health Organization

Story: Marching Band Routine Offends Mental Health Organization

Apparently putting on straight jackets and bumping around padded walls is extremely offensive to Schizophrenia patients. This team has been performing this routine for some time now, but all of a sudden the students need a lesson in sensitivity. Here is a quick diagnosis that may or may not be in the DSM IV: THEY ARE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS, LET THEM BE!

Debate on Pledge of Allegiance in Vt. town

Story: Debate on Pledge of Allegiance in Vt. town

If I am following this correctly, the students who choose to say the pledge are separated from the students who do not recite it. According to the article, it is "tearing the town apart" (population 810 by the way). Meanwhile, the state of Florida has had over 150 teachers accused of sex crimes in the last couple years. Hey Vermont- you should be so lucky to have the Pledge of Allegiance be your worst problem in education.

Alabama Principal Bans Confederate Flag Shirts

Story: East Alabama Principal Bans Confederate Flag Shirts

Seems like those Duke boys were causing a stir after Mr. Obama was elected president. The south is just gonna have to get over the fact that their leader will be a black man. But what is the real problem here? Is it t-shirts or tolerance?

Teen girl accused of stabbing 5 after game

Story: Fla. teen accused of stabbing 5 girls after game

What is with all these stabbing stories lately? It must be the hottest trend for teen girls. Stabbing peers is the new pink. Somebody get these girls a job for CutCo.

Dallas schools use fake Social Security numbers

"Hey, you guys need teachers?"

Dallas ISD faulted for using fake Social Security numbers

Sounds like a fool-proof plan right? Bring in illegal citizens, give them fake social security numbers, and hire them to teach Spanish. What could go wrong? Well, at least it shows a little effort to make some changes to our education system. The only problem is that some people might object to systematic social security fraud, seeing as how it is completely illegal.

Mom accused of punching pregnant school bus driver

Story: Student's mom accused of punching pregnant school bus driver

Three words best describe this story: "God Bless Texas."

Nominations for the 2008 Edublog Awards are open!

Nominations for the 2008 Edublog Awards are now open!

Instructions on how to nominate a blog can be found at the Nominations Contact Form.

There are fourteen categories, including best individual blog, best group blog, best new blog, and best resource sharing blog.

Nominations close at the end of November and voting begins at the beginning of December.

Facebook postings land N.C. teachers in hot water

Story: Facebook postings land N.C. teachers in hot water

Since Facebook is open for the world to see, this teacher wanted to make one thing clear: That she hates her ghetto students. Other faced discipline for sharing their stories and pictures about drinking and having sex. But their personal lives aside, nothing is more discouraging than reading about a teacher who emphatically dislikes her job. Hopefully this helps solve the mystery about why schools are failing.

Teacher gets second drunken driving charge

Story: Teacher gets second drunken driving charge

To sweeten the deal, at the time of his arrest there was an underage student in his passenger seat! Nothing sounds more tempting than going on a drunk drive with one of your teachers. I wonder where in the lessons plans this homework assignment can be found.

5-year-old boy left on school bus

Story: 5-year-old boy left on school bus in Baxter

Sorry, mom. Rather than dropping your boy off at school, our driver needed to take the edge off of a stressful work week by throwing back a few cold ones. But don't worry. Even though your 5-year old was left for two hours unsupervised on the bus, he was unharmed and is unlikely to suffer long-term emotional side-effects from this. You should have seen him. He made the cutest face when we discovered him curled up in a helpless ball!

Boy slits girl's throat in high school lobby

Story: Boy slits girl's throat in Montrose High lobby

Another story about a knife slashing during school? In this one, some random kids walked into the school and grabbed the girl from behind. Generally, this only happens in movies. So the question is, how can you keep a straight face when trying to assure the student body that the school is safe?

Teen girl fatally shoots another girl in FL school

Story: Student dies after shooting at Fla. high school

It's not fun to report these stories, but we need to be aware that this is how teens are resolving problems with their school! Whatever happened to girls just making burn books?

ACLU sues Fallbrook school over journalism class

Story: ACLU sues Fallbrook school over journalism class

The school didn't like some of the content being published. Surprise, surprise. Luckily there are laws in tact so that students have the right to print stories about all topics, even if administration might disagree with some of it. So anyone interested in high school journalism, please take note of this concept.

NY Students Prohibited From Wearing Scarves

Story: NY Students Prohibited From Wearing Scarves

The school suspected a boy to be in a gang for wearing a scarf. I guess there is a dangerous group of teens running through New York schools with really warm necks. So by banning them, the school hopes to see a decrease in gang activity (and presumably a decrease in the scarf fashion trend). But there is sure to be an increase in bronchitis, pneumonia, and strep throat. That's just the price you pay for dire safety measures.

Dance team poisons opponents brownies

Story: Chapin officials thwart tainted-desserts prank

As some odd tradition, dance teams exchange gifts before a big competition. One group of girls decided to make brownies with the following ingredients: chocolate, butter, eggs, flour, vanilla extract, sugar, Clorox, rat-poison, and laxatives. Sounds delicious, except the amount of poison they included was enough to kill someone. Oh well, maybe next year girls.

Teen girl stabs boy with comb at school

Story: Teenage girl in custody after stabbing at Blair High

What is being classified as a "sharp-edged object," witnesses believe was a comb. After watching one too many episodes of Gangland, this girl took her anger out in a lashing that would make hair stylists cringe. Aww, puppy love can be so cute.

Teen Accused of Exposing Himself in Class

Story: Teen Accused of Exposing Himself in Class

Maybe it's somewhat normal to see this at parties, but some common sense should kick in and tell you that pulling your pants down in class and trying to grind with a girl isn't gonna go over so well. And since it happened in Florida, you can only assume that a handful of the teachers were jealous.

Intoxicated student leads to school evacuation

Story: Student showing signs of intoxication leads to powder, dismissal of classes

After sending the boy to the hospital for most likely being drunk at school, they found an unknown white powder in his locker. The obvious reaction? Send everyone home. In a related note, the schools' varsity bowling club has had similar complaints that every time they get to the second frame, the school cancels the event due to white powder being on the athletes hands.

School bans ice after throwing incidents

School bans ice after throwing incidents

Evidently ice fights are breaking out at lunch time. Administration logic dictates the only reasonable solution is to rid the cafeteria of ice cubes. If you've ever been in a high school, then you'll know the students will quickly replace ice with something just as ridiculous to chuck at each other. One intuitive senior points out, "Why can't those kids just be dealt with rather than punishing everyone?" Great point, my dear. Great point. But until the principal figures that out, it's warm drinks for all.

Michelle Obama visits Washington private schools

Story: Michelle Obama visits Washington private schools

Why? What's wrong with the public schools?

In Florida, virtual school could make classrooms history

Story: In Florida, virtual school could make classrooms history

Also expected to hit Florida students- increased childhood obesity, complete lack of social skills, and no sense of authority or discipline (beyond parental expectations). But apparently there is such a grave concern for the schools in Florida that the demand for online courses (starting at age five!) has passed legislature. And we all laughed when the University of Phoenix first presented this idea.

Drunk man had weapons at high school

Drunk man had weapons at Hays High School

If your hobbies include getting drunk, filling your truck up with weapons, then going to high school sports games, it might be time to take a step back and re-examine your life goals. But maybe at the ripe age of 68, that's all this guy has to look forward to.

Miss. students not allowed to say Obama's name

Story: Students can't talk about President-Elect Obama

I am still trying to figure this one out. Basically it's as simple as the headline reads- students are not allowed to discuss Barack Obama. Students have been threatened suspension and even kicked off the bus for even mentioning the newly elected presidents name. I am hoping the ACLU has a field day with this one. You can only assume that Mississippi can't come to terms with the fact that our president will be black. Well, here's a little insight to what's going on in the Magnolia State:

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