Teacher of the year faces child porn charges



I think it's safe to say that the runner-up has a case to make.


Dead rabbit population out of control near school

Story: Rabbit population out of control near school

For most of the country, going back to school in the Fall means kicking though some leaves along the sidewalks. But for these students in San Jose, it's being careful not to step on dead rabbits everywhere. Nothing rings in a new school year like being greeted by decapitated, decaying rabbits. Maybe this is just a sick form of revenge by the mom who stole the Bunny Suicide books from her sons' school?


School District Explores Cell Phone Jamming

Story: School District Explores Cell Phone Jamming

No word yet if they have explored a back up plan for when terrorists cut off the land lines from working too. And just so this school knows, even if they jam cell phones, teens will have no problems finding another gadget to distract them from learning during class. Besides, I heard cell phone jammers give you cancer.


Teacher accused of stuffing dirty rag in disabled son's mouth



According to the boy, his dad also "hit him in the head with urine-soaked underwear." We are curious as to what forms of discipline this teacher uses in his classroom, and wonder if they are also techniques he picked up with spending time in a Japanese POW camp.


Student Sues Coach Over Facebook Message


Here's the gist of what happened: A coach asked a cheerleader for her facebook password. For some unknown reason, she gave it to him. He then sifted through her personal emails and found some discriminating comments about the cheer squad to hold against her. She is now suing for $100 million dollars. After hearing this story, one thing becomes clear: common sense and the value of money are not widely taught in Mississippi schools.


Schools face bigger classes in response to smaller budgets



Story: Schools face bigger classes in response to smaller budgets


We predicted years ago that this was going to be a growing trend. Now, more so than ever, the realization is setting in. Either teachers are going to have to learn to be just as dynamic with more kids in their room, or students will just gradually be receiving a worse education because of large class sizes. This model works in large universities, so maybe it's just a tool to weed out any child who isn't college-bound.


Central Valley student sues over chemical burns


After being exposed to chemicals on her arms, legs, and face, the student did not gain any super-powers. Instead, she was most likely left with disfiguring scars. Just another reason why high schoolers don't need to be messing with hazardous materials.


Administrator at Tampa's King High 'popped' students' toes for poor grades



We will let our readers be the judge on this one. To sum it up, when a (high school) students' grades started to slip, he would bring the boy to his office, close the door, make them remove their shoes and socks, then proceed to squeeze their toes. His response:

"It was one of those playful things, just playing around with the kids so they felt more comfortable."

So...is this an appropriate form of discipline? Or is this a case of- This little piggy crying wee wee wee all the way the children's services to report a case of a creepy pedophile with a foot fetish?


Nude sculpture at shopping plaza turning heads, sparking complaints



Everyone who argues that Michelangelo's David is art has a valid point. Now try explaining that to a first grader who has to walk past a series of nude sculptures on her way to school every morning. Let's just say this South Florida community better plan on adding Sex-Ed to their coursework a little bit earlier than planned.


New school dress code: T-shirts with spirit

Story: New school dress code: T-shirts with spirit


ALL students will be required to wear clothing that depicts the school name or mascot. The principal is "excited about the new school year with our campus full of school pride as students wear school spirit shirts." She neglected to include the word "forced" into her optimistic outlook. Sounds to me like they struck a great deal with Hanes or Fruit-of-a-Loom.


Principal fired for dogpile

Story: Upshur BOE fires principal

A cafeteria fight broke out, and the principal used her best judgement by diving on the top of the pile. After realizing she wasn't at a Rage Against the Machine Concert, she was unanimously voted out of the position. Hopefully the next principal isn't as athletic.


Wyandotte schools probes teachers' year-end party

Story: Wyandotte schools probes teachers' year-end party


While most teachers spend the day after the last day of school turning in grades and cleaning their classrooms, this wild bunch decided to rent out a clubhouse at a golf course and throw a huge drinking bash. Local golfers were less than amused to be witnesses of public intoxication, public nudity, and public urination. I agree that teachers deserve a day to unwind and celebrate, so here are some tips for next year: Be a little discreet about the fact you are teachers, find a little more private of a location, and don't buy the booze with district funds!


Mississippi School Is Violating Desegregation Order





In simple terms, they have been allowing white students to transfer out of the black school for years. While Mississippi might not be known as the most progressive state in terms of race relations, this is clearly setting them back about sixty years. Their goal is to end this practice by the 2010-2011 school year. It should be noted that the majority of other states reached this goal decades ago. Welcome aboard Mississippi!


Teacher suspended for calling pupils ugly and fat



The teaching days of this wise-cracking, name-calling man have come to and end. A board decided that after multiple counts of callings kids 'scumbags,' accusing girls of being pregnant, and even an allegation of shoving a students head into an oven, that it was finally time to muzzle his outbursts. Who knows how long it will take these young teens to heal from constant humiliation from their teacher, but it is clear that this guy never grew up past the name-calling phase.


Teacher Accused of Killing Wife During Cruise



I hope he picked up a duty-free lawyer to help him out of this jam.


School-Shooting iPhone Game Removed From App Store

Story: School-Shooting iPhone Game Removed From App Store

Not too long after they removed a game in which the object was to shake a baby to death, Apple decided a game that encourages school shootings is the next to get the axe. I am sure when teachers ask their students what they did over the summer, they would love hearing that everyone downloaded a game with this kind of content. Something tells me the families of the Columbine victims aren't rushing to play this.


Funding mix-up on US stimulus aid creates $250M windfall for schools

"I must've put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Shit, I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail." - Michael Bolton, Office Space


Thanks to a mundane detail (and a huge error by someone at the state), Arizona schools will be sitting pretty with twice the amount they were originally expecting in stimulus money. They will be receiving $500M in cold hard American cash. You can expect a lot more luxury cars and big screen TVs in the Grand Canyon State.


Suspects Break Into Home, Leave Homework Behind

Story: Suspects Break Into Home, Leave Homework Behind


After breaking into a house, then fleeing the scene, one of the boys dropped his bookbag and homework behind. It's refreshing to see that some troubled youth are still taking work home with them and focusing on their studies. It would be more interesting if the thieves were after a TI-86 to help them with their calculus.


Schools looking to parents to pay for sports

Story: Schools looking to parents to pay for sports


Too bad, because some poor kids are pretty good athletes. The schools will have no problems having sports teams, but the parents will have to provide all the equipment and uniforms. Public school is getting harder and harder to afford, and the quality is not improving. It's only a matter of time until they ask the community to help pay for teacher pay raises.


Teacher accused of sending teen lewd photos

Story: Teacher accused of sending teen lewd photos


You know it's a backwards world when 37-year olds can't even send nude pics to a teenage boys phone. I wonder if kids are even interested in finding Playboys anymore since the odds are that at least one person in every group of friends can have a teacher solicit them with sexy cell phone images.


Oregon wants to ban teachers from wearing hijabs in public schools


Basically, it sounds like they don't want Muslims teaching. I wonder if Jewish men can wear kippahs or Catholics can wear a cross anywhere?


School Superintendent Accused of Raping 5-Year-Old Girl



To me, this is a case of someone "slipping through the cracks." Nobody just wakes up one day and has nothing better to do than rape a 5-year old. Even though he has only had the position for two weeks, to reach superintendent he has probably invested a career as a teacher, principal, or other school district positions. We can only imagine the sickening thoughts that have ran through his mind over the years.


Police say officer left handgun in school bathroom


This is how easy it is to get a handgun into a Chicago school?! Cops are dropping them for kids to find like Easter eggs.


Columbus High School student dies after playing 'the choking game'


The local teens have developed a popular game in which they deliberately strangle themselves. I guess the goal is to survive. This young man did not. That's usually a good sign that the game has a couple of flaws. To our knowledge, Jigsaw from the SAW movies had nothing to do with encouraging this activity.



High School Coaches Undergo Sensitivity Training


One school district in Kentucky is requiring all coached to take a class and teach them not to bully and cuss at their players. Basically, they want to offer them positive ways to tell a kid he screwed up in a game. You know what they say, "Nice guys finish last."


Man watching high school runners charged with indecent exposure

Story: Man watching high school runners charged with indecent exposure


Apparently there is a law against masturbating while watching the local high school girls cross country team do their stretches. I am surprised that no one has ever noticed the creepy 40-year old Vietnamese guy hanging out at all the girls athletic events. Doesn't this neighborhood have a strip club?


Congress Urged to Take Action Against Bullying in Schools

Story: Congress Urged to Take Action Against Bullying in Schools

Name-calling has a new word: bullying. And it's not the sticks and stones that are breaking bones, it's the nooses that children use to hang themselves as a result of getting teased. Bullying is nothing new for a school-aged child, but many are arguing that it is the cause for some of these tragic side effects. So..who or what is to blame? We'd like to hear the readers thoughts.


Human remains found at Danville school gym site



They found what appeared to be a skeleton of an American Indian under the school construction site. Anyone who has seen The Poltergeist will know that it is not the best idea to continue building.


Maine teacher says sorry for mock wedding to student



Paul Rosenblum (an elementary school teacher), took his lawfully wedded bride (a fourth grade student) in holy matrimony during recess on the playground. They plan to honeymoon near the monkey bars. So we can only assume the court won't allow him to marry one of his students for at least another ten years, right? In a letter to the parents, Mr. Rosenblum says he is "SICK with regret." Well, he certainly has the sick part right.


Principal accused of misusing district money

Story: Palm Beach Gardens High School principal accused of misusing district money

At some point, it's going to catch someones eye that thousands of dollars are being spent on chocolate roses, tuxedo rentals, and dinners. Those aren't exactly items you find in the Back-to-School section at Target. Ready for the best part? His salary last year was $113,157! I hope he treated his staff as well as his dates.


Teacher Accused of Pushing Pills

Story: Teacher Accused of Pushing Pills

As a teacher, his hobbies included grading papers, giving pop-quizzes, and creating false prescriptions for Hydro-codone and Xanax. It's great that him and his wife have developed a common interest. It's just a shame that the cost was embarrasing himself in front of an entire school district and community.


Seventh Grader Sues School Over Right to Wear Pro-Life T-Shirt


The school district has strict policies about its students taking a stance on issues. In this case, I suppose they would rather her wear a "Kill Babies" shirt.


Teacher Gives Sex Tape to 5th Graders



The class was expecting a DVD of their 5th grade memories. This would usually include field days, science projects, birthday parties, etc. Instead it featured explicit footage of Ms. Defanti banging someone on her couch. Simple mistake right? Most teachers keep their home porn collection in the same folder as their school kids photos. For some unknown reason, many of the dads have not yet returned the video.

ANYONE WHO HAS THIS DVD, PLEASE SEND US A COPY OF THE FOOTAGE!


Boy Banned From School For Moustache

Story: Boy Banned From School For Moustache

Everyone knows that moustaches lead teen boys down a destructive path of drugs and violence.


LA school not happy with Bruno



Sacha Baron Cohen decided to make a pit-stop at an LA high school football practice for a photo shoot. He has already made Bruno into a household name for putting people in uncomfortable, often homosexual, situations. This team was no exception. The photos, which are featured in GQ, are currently embarassing officials from the district. The kids, however, love it. Go figure!


 
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