School claims Jesus was a vampire

Story: District parents angry over radical Web link

Usually on a school website you can find information such as a district calendar, some educational resources, and the occaisional link to a radical website supporting the claim that Jesus was a vampire. Regardless of your religious affiliation, you can see why some parents might be upset that they are teaching children that there is a blurry line between the Blood of Christ and a character from Twilight.

Teen Cheerleader Fined $27,750 for File Sharing 37 Songs

Whitney Harper, now a college senior, was fined $27k for sharing 37 songs when she was 14 by the RIAA. While we love sharing Backstreet Boys mp3's as much as the next #1 education news bloggers.. It seems folks should just subscribe to Napster or one of the other ~$20 / month services that give you unlimited access to music and avoid this hassle by the music police.

She is lucky however, in the first RIAA case to be awarded a settlement a Minnesota jury ordered a woman to pay $1.92 million for file sharing 24 songs (though the judge in the case reduced the award to $54,000 — $2,250 a track).

STORY: Former Teen Cheerleader Dinged $27,750 for File Sharing 37 Songs

Memphis mom charged with using sword to threaten school employees

Story: Memphis mom charged with using sword to threaten school employees

I find that most of the problems parents have with schools can be resolved by acting out fight scenes from Conan the Destroyer. And sometimes if you don't have the guts to run through the hallways of an elementary school flailing a sword, all you need to do is chug 40 oz of Colt 45 malt liquor first. Oh by the way, the reason the mom was angry was because her daughter and a classmate had a spitting match. Mother of the Year candidate?

VIDEO UPDATE: Two Teachers, One Chair.. Strip Tease Scandal

We tracked down the video.... WOW.

Here are two Canadian gym teachers preforming a lap dance routine for a bunch of 14 year olds. The dude is definitely simulating oral sex with her a couple times, she is spanking him, etc. This is would be great if this were your skanky bachelor party - but not so much for a middle school pep rally.

Two teachers, One chair lap dance causes uproar

Story: Teachers' Lap Dance Video Sparks Uproar at Canadian High School

I guess I just have one question- Why would a striptease/lap dance during a school assembly ever seem like a good idea to perform in front of an audience of high school kids? I think we know exactly where to find this teacher after she loses her job...and I can only imagine how many seniors will be filling their wallets with dollar bills.

Top 5 Reasons Schools are Closing This Week

As a kid, you always hoped that some unforeseen circumstance causes your school to close so you don't have to go to class. Below you'll see which students got their wish this week.

5. Boiler Room Fire: Woodstock elementary closes early after boiler room fire

4. "Strange Smell:" Hudson High closed because of 'strange smell'

3. Liquid Mercury Leak: Mercury Contamination Closes School

2. Bats!: Bat infestation at elementary school

1. Teacher Electrocuted: School Closes After Teacher Burned

We can only hope that whatever they did on their day off, that the school wasn't spying on them via laptop webcams!

Toilet paper bomb threat prompts evacuation of school

Story: Toilet paper bomb threat prompts evacuation of Addison school

I guess the most troubling about this story, is the fact that someone is going around looking for secret messages on every piece of toilet paper they find. I guess I assume that most people would either flush it, or want nothing to do with it (assuming it most likely has poop on it). But now we can officially add "writing bomb threats" to a list of things people do while taking a crap.

Teacher accused of getting special needs girl pregnant

Story: D.C. teacher accused of fathering a child with special-needs student

Since the girl was 18, a criminal investigation never took place. I'm not sure if that helped clear the mans conscience though. After all, he was having sex with a student, who happened to be special needs, and it resulted in a future mom-to-be. Let's make sure we all make an effort to not let his guy volunteer at the next Buddy Walk in DC.

BIG BROTHER: Students Spied on by School Issued Laptop Webcams

STORY: Suit: School spied on students via webcams

These are the stories that keep us getting out of bed in the morning. An affluent school district in PA decided it would be an awesome idea to give all the students laptops - and then use the built-in webcams to spy on the kids while at home!

Apparently Lindy Matsko, an assistant principal at Harriton High School, told a student that school officials thought he had engaged in "improper behavior" at home and cited as evidence a photograph from the webcam embedded in student's personal laptop issued by the school.

Of course, the family of the student has now filed a class action lawsuit against the entire district. This is really amazing.. they were spying on kids at home through the webcams, and then disciplining kids for actions that took place at home! Out of control.

You can read the entire court complaint here: Robbins v. Lower Merion School District (PDF)

School using laptops to spy on students

Story: School district accused of spying on kids via laptop webcams

This is the perfect scam to satisfy your voyeurism fetish. The school gave everyone laptops with built in webcams, and now they can watch the students undress every night at home. I can picture some creepy tech guy sitting at home just sifting through a 30-screen grid of streaming video footage of teens at home. What an embarassment to public schools everywhere. I wonder if the students every learned about the Trojan horse in history class?

Students may find themselves in Saturday school because of snow

Story: Students may find themselves in Saturday school because of snow

The school district has already missed about a dozen days due to the weather and now everyone is scratching their freezing cold heads trying to figure out when they are going to make these days up. Teachers better stock up on energy drinks because it's looking like the only option is longer school days and adding Saturday to the menu. Have fun in school suckers!!!

Teacher suspended without pay for spanking student

Story: Teacher suspended without pay for spanking student

Corporal punishment is still very legal in Alabama. However, the parents can request that their child not be spanked at school. This teacher decided to throw the rule book right out the window and start swinging. I guess some people still believe that "a paddle a day keeps the doctor away."

School Bans SF Giants and 49ers clothes

Story: North Bay School Bans Popular Team Apparel

While the rest of the country is under the naive assumption that SF stands for San Francisco, in Bay Area schools, it means "scrap free." By banning the apparel, it will not only help curb the gang problem, but it will finally help put an end to teens wearing jerseys to school. We are currently researching if Richmond, VA is experiencing similar problems with students wearing colors from the Double-A affiliate, the Flying Squirrels.

Teacher suspended over Facebook comments

Story: Apex teacher suspended after parents question Facebook comments

After a classroom conversation about evolution, a child thought it would be a nice gesture to give his teacher a Bible. Rather than handle the situation like a mature adult, she decided to open up a Facebook rant and referred to the incident as a hate crime. Her friends chimed in with replies about "ignorant Southern rednecks" and swastikas. I guess some teacher aren't familiar with the concept of behind closed doors.

RI Superintendendent fires entire staff at high school

Story: Central Falls to fire every high school teacher

In one big swipe, every teacher lost their job at this failing school. It's a bold move, but the teachers decided that they didn't want to work harder. I wonder if the Superintendent plans to fill in for a couple days and lead a classroom of almost 1,000 students until new teachers are ready to move in?

Teacher Accused of Shooting Two Principals

After hearing he wasn't getting his job back next year, this teacher decided to go down in a blaze of glory and start shooting any principal he saw. Unfortunately, it's not 1850 and you can't just jump on your horse and ride out of town scott free. With double attempted homicide charges on your resume, I doubt any other school will be looking to pick up his contract either.

Arizona school turns bus into Wi-Fi hub for 'traveling study hall'

Story: Arizona school turns bus into Wi-Fi hub for 'traveling study hall'

What a great idea! Adding free internet connection to school bus rides has not only increased homework productivity, but it has decreased behavior problems such as fighting. Who cares if the kids are looking up inappropriate content, this must be a dream come true for bus drivers. Hopefully this concept lasts a while and doesn't get put to an end because of some cyber-bullying lawsuit.

Texas snowball fight turns to fist fight

Story: Texas snowball fight turns to fist fight

It's bad enough that Dallas is trying to cope with a snow storm, but it's resulting in new terrain to fight on. Some school ground fun literally snowballed into a huge one hour brawl. Once school officials finished drinking their hot chocolate and marshmallows, the battle finally came to an end.

Teen tries to buy urine at elementary school

Story: Teen Gets Community Service in Urine Case

The guy walked into an elementary school, found his way to the bathroom, and tried to buy pee from little boys. We can only assume he needed to pass a urine test, but you gotta think there is a better source. Then, you have to ask yourself how many employees didn't notice a strange 18-year old roaming around an elementary school with an empty piss cup in his hand. Luckily, we have taught our youth not to sell pee to creepy men they meet in the bathroom.

Teacher Suspended After Locking Student in Closet

Story: Teacher Suspended After Locking Student in Closet

If there is a manual on behavior management, I'd be curious to see which page it suggests to lock a student in a utility closet with the lights off. Sometimes the line must be blurry between discipling students properly and acting out a scene from an M Night Shyamalan movie.

Cafeteria lady picks fight with 13-year old girl

Story: Cafeteria worker, girl, 13, suspended following fight

It's not often that fights are started over vegetables. It's also not often that 55-year old women keep grudges with little girls. But probably the most interesting piece of this puzzle, is that the 13-year old instigator is STILL IN 5TH GRADE! So I'm not really sure who is coming out of this one a winner.

Florida Girl, 6, Handcuffed After Temper Tantrum at School

Story: Florida Girl, 6, Handcuffed After Temper Tantrum at School

It's good to know our elementary schools have officers on duty to arrest little kids when they throw fits. Maybe we should just start dedicating wings of the school to in-house prison cells?

School secretary fired for speaking Spanish

Story: Ex-CMS secretary says she was fired after she kept speaking Spanish to Latino parents

When she took over the school, the new renegade principal couldn't wait to tighten up the borders and ban employees from speaking Spanish at a school that is 42% Hispanic. No word yet if this school tossed out the civil rights lessons from curriculum.

Teachers give students pretend Xanax

Story: Westchase teachers learn a lesson: Say 'no' to mints in pill bottles

In some Florida schools, the teachers think it's cute to encourage students to down a bottle of pills when they get stressed during their standardized tests. The children were handed little bottles of prescription pills filled with mints. They are being taught at an early age that when life hands you a challenge, their is a drug that can cure it! I can't wait to point fingers when we find these kids years later in a pool of their own vomit after over-dosing on Oxycodone.

OUTRAGE: Mom upset with corporal punishment at son’s New Mexico school

Story: Mom upset with corporal punishment at son’s New Mexico school

Among a long list of problems with allowing paddling in schools, is that the whacking comes at the discretion of the staff. In this case, a 90-pound boy was sent home with a black and blue ass because "...if he was tough enough to talk back to the teachers, then he was tough enough to take the swats." During an investigation, it was learned that the paddle used has students names etched in it! Now, does this sound like the responsible discipline of a principal, or someone who proudly displays his acts of violence much like a trophy case?

Student crashes car through Shorecrest High School

Story: Student crashes car through Shorecrest High School

Some teens spend their Friday nights hanging out with their friends...others send their car crashing through the front doors of their school. What is most disturbing, is that the police file states the boy "did NOT appear to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol." I wonder how much your insurance rates go up after joy-riding through the hallways of a high school?

High school busted on trademark infringement

Story: Seminole school dodges trademark infringement bullet

When the school decided to develop a new logo for their mascot, the entire town must have been oblivious to the fact that they completely ripped off Dodge's Ram. Don't they teach about plagiarism in high school? Being so close to Orlando, I'm actually surprised they didn't just try to get away with being the Mickey Mouses.

Student sent home from school for wearing Colts jersey

Story: Colts Jersey Causes Clash at La. School

A Louisiana high school lifted its dress code policy and allowed students to wear black and gold to celebrate the Saints going to the Super Bowl. One Indianapolis native decided to wear his Colts jersey instead. Since students don't have rights inside of public schools, he was immediately told that he was disobeying the principal. Who would have thought that the Super Bowl would have such an impact on the education process?

Student, 12, Arrested For Doodling On Desk

Story: Student, 12, Arrested For Doodling On Desk

WOW! Some of the desks I grew up around barely had a square inch to spare because of all the graffiti on them. This girl pens her name with an erasable marker and she's thrown in the slammer within minutes. Once again we're creating criminals out of children. Maybe this should serve as an eye-opener that schools need to completely abolish writing utensils and provide laptops for every student?!

School Shut Down By Rats -- Again

Story: School Shut Down By Rats -- Again

Of all the reasons to cancel class, this school has closed twice now in two weeks because they can't seem to sort out their rat problem. While some schools have started to resemble prisons, this one is taking a different route...making their classrooms seem like sewers. All for the children!

Indianapolis Schools Want 2-hour Delay After Super Bowl

Story: Indy's Schools Want 2-hour Delay After Super Bowl

Since the whole city will be watching the Colts in the big game, it will make it nearly impossible to wake up on-time for work Monday. The Super Bowl will end around 11:00 at night, and that's waaaaaayyyy too late to even hear the alarm the next morning. The only solution? Delay class! If this doesn't send an early message to children that athletics trumps education, then I'm not sure how much more clear we can make it.

9-year old faces suspension over LEGO gun

Story: Student Nearly Suspended Over LEGO-Sized Gun

If you haven't been in a public school for a while, this is what they mean by "zero tolerance." A two-inch plastic toy gun was enough for this little boy to get read his rights. It was actually a good thing he was caught, because one of his classmates was considering bringing in a much bigger, GI Joe gun to combat his enemies during school.

'Joke' letter from principal sent to parents

Story: 'Joke' letter from principal sent to parents

What do you get if you mix the satire of Jonathan Swift with a heartless Principal? A letter was drafted that basically criticizes under-achieving students, children with allergies, lazy parents, and just about any other sensitive subject schools may be faced with. [See letter here] Then, in some oversight or glitch, the press-release-like note went out to all the moms and dads in the school. You can see why a couple of nerves may have been struck. I guess all it takes to be principal in this school is complete lack of compassion for the families who attend.

Teacher allows fourth grade Fight Club

Story: Teacher was kids' brawl monitor

A stunned audience of fourth graders sat back and watched as their teacher cleared space in the middle of the classroom to allow two students to knuckle-up and have at each other. Not only did he encourage the fight, but he wrote fake excuses so they could visit the nurse after the bloody bout. Oh, and the teachers aide must have been the color commentator, because he was in the room for the whole thing. I'm wondering if this school let Mike Tyson teach their discipline training courses?

NY teacher making over $100K, hasn't taught since 2001

Story: Easy money for millionaire exile

After being accused of "staring at girls butts" almost a decade ago, this guy was saved by the union and can't be fired. He still receives his annual salary of over $100,000, but hasn't been in a classroom since the accusation. In his spare time (on the school districts' clock), he is "working on his law practice and managing 12 real-estate properties worth an estimated $7.8 million." So while he might be a horny creeper, he is one f---ing rich man. More proof that our current education system is flawless!

'Hoodlum' or 'hood rat': Vernon cheer coach to be evaluated yearly

Story: 'Hoodlum' or 'hood rat': Vernon cheer coach to be evaluated yearly

While breaking up a cat fight between some cheerleaders, the coach may or may not have referred to the girls as either hoodlum or hood rats. Her disciplinary action is awaiting the a verdict of which term was used. It's a shame some schools banned dictionaries, otherwise we could look up the difference between the two.

Pennsylvania Teacher Suspended Over Private Photo With Stripper

Story: Pennsylvania Teacher Suspended Over Private Photo With Stripper

In Pennsylvania, teachers evidently aren't allowed to go to bridal parties with male strippers. Well, if they do, they should make sure their freinds aren't posting the pictures online. I guess some school districts don't have anything better to do than sift through all the facebook pages of the entire community.

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