700 dirty words you can't say in Arizona


Where is George Carlin when you need him? Arizona State Senate Bill 1467 proposes to suspend or terminate teachers at public schools and universities for using language banned for TV under the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) indecency policy. WTF? Holy sh-t? Does this apply to coaches too? How will they communicate to players? Arizona must have solved all of the important issues facing public education to spend time on this nonsense. One final question...does the rule apply to dirty words in Spanish?

STORY: FCC Rules On 'Dirty Words' Could Be Used In Arizona Schools (VIDEO)


Book Traffickers invade Arizona


Looks like a "magical mystery tour" is headed straight to Tucson, Arizona in mid-March. The mystery?
Not the Beatles. Why were books on Mexican American Studies (MAS) banned from the Tucson Unified School District? Lame answer...Winners write the damn history books Nacho! Arizona State Superintendent John Huppenthal decided that the high school MAS courses were in violation of ARS-15-112. Yikes...how far will Arizona go on this affront to Mexican Americans and the First Amendment? Apparently Huffenthal is a big fan of Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451! The literary contraband was seized from the high school by some of the Arizona book storm troopers while MAS classes were in session. Nice lesson to teach the students. God speed to the Book Traffickers as they make their trek to Arizona.

STORY: 'Librotraficante' Caravan Set To Smuggle Books Back Into Arizona Following Ethnic Studies Ban


Teacher Fired Over "Have You Drugged Your Kid Today?" Bumper Sticker


An English teacher was fired after refusing to remove a bumper sticker for her car that read "Have You Drugged Your Kid Today?"

She says it was political commentary on the over medication of students and she never discussed it in class, but some parents complained which led to her being asked to remove it.

She clearly has a right to political expression, and it would be hard to argue the bumper sticker is obscene. The only real question is can the school regulate what is on her car while it is on school property.

What do you think?

STORY: Teacher: I Was Fired Over A Bumper Sticker


Arizona Principal Cancels Whitewash of Controversal School Mural




Councilman, Steve Blair, criticized Miller Valley Elementary School because the mural depicted black children who were bigger than the rest. Originally, the Arizona principal was going to lighten the skin of the students, but decided against it because he felt it had nothing to do with race.


Story: http://www.artinfo.com/news/story/34838/arizona-principal-cancels-whitewash-of-controversial-school-mural/


Arizona school turns bus into Wi-Fi hub for 'traveling study hall'

Story: Arizona school turns bus into Wi-Fi hub for 'traveling study hall'


What a great idea! Adding free internet connection to school bus rides has not only increased homework productivity, but it has decreased behavior problems such as fighting. Who cares if the kids are looking up inappropriate content, this must be a dream come true for bus drivers. Hopefully this concept lasts a while and doesn't get put to an end because of some cyber-bullying lawsuit.


'Joke' letter from principal sent to parents

Story: 'Joke' letter from principal sent to parents


What do you get if you mix the satire of Jonathan Swift with a heartless Principal? A letter was drafted that basically criticizes under-achieving students, children with allergies, lazy parents, and just about any other sensitive subject schools may be faced with. [See letter here] Then, in some oversight or glitch, the press-release-like note went out to all the moms and dads in the school. You can see why a couple of nerves may have been struck. I guess all it takes to be principal in this school is complete lack of compassion for the families who attend.


Phoenix teacher on leave after taking students to Hooters

Story: Paradise Valley High School teacher who took students to Hooters in Phoenix is put on leave

The teacher, who oddly enough is a woman, claims that Hooters was the only restaurant in the entire Phoenix area that could accomodate the group for lunch. With a population of almost 2 million people within city limits, you would think they would have at least attracted a McDonalds franchise to open up by now.


Teacher fired for using school network to find alien UFO's

Story: Higley firing tied to alien-search software

After dumping about $1.5 million worth of computer equipment into his alien hunt, his attorney advised him it was time to call it quits. He installed programs into all of the school computers so he could track radio signals that beamed any signs of extraterrestrial life. I think it's safe to assume that he spent every minute of his work day monitoring these radio frequencies, and the only thing he ever found was porn...which also didn't help his case to keep his job.


Overdue books returned 51 years later

Story: Overdue books returned 51 years later

Finally! Now the 69-year old student can receive his/her high school diploma. I feel bad for the kid who reserved the books next.


22-year old man posed as high school student


Story: Yuma High School Duped By 22-Year-Old Man Posing as Student So He Could Play Basketball

Four months into the school year, it was finally discovered that this old man walking the halls was not the spring chicken he claimed to be. A lot of us have always said "If I could do high school over again..." Well, this guy got his wish. (Including having sex with high school girls). I guess it's easy for an 18-year old kid to enroll himself into high school with a birth certificate chalk-full of typo's in Arizona. I wonder if he has a real job he needs to get back to?


Carl Hayden snaps 66-game losing streak

Story: Carl Hayden snaps 66-game losing streak

It's been around seven years since this high school football team has been able to muster up a victory. If they can pull one out again next week, some might consider that a winning streak. By the way it sounds like the town is celebrating, I wouldn't be surprised if they lifted the drinking age over the weekend to allow kids to party. But it's really gotta suck to be the other team!


Back to School = Back to Sex!

We're back to school and the timing couldn't be sooner for our sex crazed pedophiliac teachers. They must have been in a drought all summer because sex scandals are hitting the headlines like wildfire. Right after hearing that a Phoenix teacher got 12 years for molesting a 14-year old student, teachers from Sunnyvale and Oil City, Pa couldn't resist the urges with teens of their own. A Salt Lake sub lowered the bar with a 13-year old girl and a Barre, Vt teacher just got arrested AGAIN for having sex with the same student. Four teachers from Bucks, PA a got fired because they knew about a teacher-student affair. But a teacher from Warrenton, Va took the prize this week because not only did he have sex with his student, but he made it into his own porn. Gotta love what the bottom of the barrel has to offer. Better add condoms to the back-to-school supply list!


Principal allegedly engaged in 'immoral conduct'



The line outside this principal's office is a little longer than most. That's because she is not inside of it. She is in a hotel room banging the dad of one of her students. It took a gun threat to catch her red-handed, but now the staff knows why she was never at school. Ahh, priorities.


Funding mix-up on US stimulus aid creates $250M windfall for schools

"I must've put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Shit, I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail." - Michael Bolton, Office Space


Thanks to a mundane detail (and a huge error by someone at the state), Arizona schools will be sitting pretty with twice the amount they were originally expecting in stimulus money. They will be receiving $500M in cold hard American cash. You can expect a lot more luxury cars and big screen TVs in the Grand Canyon State.


Teacher goes on paid leave after 'fat ass' yearbook comment


You never like to hear stories about kids being picked on for their weight. Or if you have no soul, you love making them feel like crap by labeling them as "fat ass" in the yearbook. I have a wild hunch that is not the name on her birth certificate.


Boy Allowed To Wear Rainbow Wristband

Story: Boy Allowed To Wear Rainbow Wristband

His mother says, "It's a good thing that the school has finally realized that it can't just disregard First Amendment rights of students." When are principals going to figure out that banning things like this only draws more attention to it, and defeats the purpose behind why it was banned to begin with (presumably because they feel it causes a distraction).


Coach had sex with student in gym restroom



This story came from a reader tip. He described it as, "Coach who replaced coach who messed around with underage players busted for messing around with underage players." I think that about sums it up.



Tip via Puking Dog


Student fatally stabbed in love triangle involving teacher

Story: Student fatally stabbed in love triangle involving teacher

Nothing can possibly go right when you are involved in a steamy love triangle with two students. Sooner or later it will lead to the lethal combination of jealousy and pocket knives. Meanwhile, the mid-life crisis of this 48-year old teacher is now responsible for ruining multiple lives. How is your confidence doing now ThunderLips?


TUSD boss seeking to hire 4 assistants at up to $130K each



In any other year, this would not be a story. After recently cutting around $60 million from the school districts budget (which included close to 600 teacher positions), they are now looking to hire four assistants to the superintendent. I can only hope one of their job responsibilities will be to figure out how to make students succeed in over-sized classrooms with under-qualified teachers.


School uses marquee to plead for supplies

Story: Ariz. school uses marquee to plead for supplies

The superintendent is rooting for this idea because it means he/she won't have to take a cut in their annual bonus. Hopefully, someone who drives by happens to be the district manager at Office Depot and solves their pleas.


 
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