I wonder how nobody noticed he was the only ninth grader that lived in an apartment and worked part-time to pay off student loans?
22-year old man poses as 16-year old Texas basketball player
Smells Like: Florida , sports , Texas , weirdSchool claims Jesus was a vampire
Smells Like: computers , religion , Utah , weird
Usually on a school website you can find information such as a district calendar, some educational resources, and the occaisional link to a radical website supporting the claim that Jesus was a vampire. Regardless of your religious affiliation, you can see why some parents might be upset that they are teaching children that there is a blurry line between the Blood of Christ and a character from Twilight.
Memphis mom charged with using sword to threaten school employees
Smells Like: drunk , parents , safety , Tennessee , violence , weird
Story: Memphis mom charged with using sword to threaten school employees
I find that most of the problems parents have with schools can be resolved by acting out fight scenes from Conan the Destroyer. And sometimes if you don't have the guts to run through the hallways of an elementary school flailing a sword, all you need to do is chug 40 oz of Colt 45 malt liquor first. Oh by the way, the reason the mom was angry was because her daughter and a classmate had a spitting match. Mother of the Year candidate?
Top 5 Reasons Schools are Closing This Week
Smells Like: animals , Connecticut , health , Massachusetts , Oregon , panic , Pennsylvania , safety , Texas , weird
As a kid, you always hoped that some unforeseen circumstance causes your school to close so you don't have to go to class. Below you'll see which students got their wish this week.5. Boiler Room Fire: Woodstock elementary closes early after boiler room fire
4. "Strange Smell:" Hudson High closed because of 'strange smell'
3. Liquid Mercury Leak: Mercury Contamination Closes School
2. Bats!: Bat infestation at elementary school
1. Teacher Electrocuted: School Closes After Teacher Burned
We can only hope that whatever they did on their day off, that the school wasn't spying on them via laptop webcams!
Teen tries to buy urine at elementary school
Smells Like: California , health , poop , weird
The guy walked into an elementary school, found his way to the bathroom, and tried to buy pee from little boys. We can only assume he needed to pass a urine test, but you gotta think there is a better source. Then, you have to ask yourself how many employees didn't notice a strange 18-year old roaming around an elementary school with an empty piss cup in his hand. Luckily, we have taught our youth not to sell pee to creepy men they meet in the bathroom.
Florida Girl, 6, Handcuffed After Temper Tantrum at School
Smells Like: Florida , law , weird
It's good to know our elementary schools have officers on duty to arrest little kids when they throw fits. Maybe we should just start dedicating wings of the school to in-house prison cells?
Teachers give students pretend Xanax
Smells Like: drugs , Florida , health , teachers , weird
In some Florida schools, the teachers think it's cute to encourage students to down a bottle of pills when they get stressed during their standardized tests. The children were handed little bottles of prescription pills filled with mints. They are being taught at an early age that when life hands you a challenge, their is a drug that can cure it! I can't wait to point fingers when we find these kids years later in a pool of their own vomit after over-dosing on Oxycodone.
9-year old faces suspension over LEGO gun
Smells Like: guns , New York , policy , trouble , weird , zero tolerance
If you haven't been in a public school for a while, this is what they mean by "zero tolerance." A two-inch plastic toy gun was enough for this little boy to get read his rights. It was actually a good thing he was caught, because one of his classmates was considering bringing in a much bigger, GI Joe gun to combat his enemies during school.
Teacher who sent poop home with student is retiring
Smells Like: health , poop , washington , weird
The day finally came when this teacher had to look in a mirror and say to herself, "I sent a bag of poop home with a 5-year old." That's usually when you know you've seen your last days with kids.
Mom forces son to kill hamster for bad grade
Smells Like: animals , Georgia , grades , parents , violence , weird
Parenting Tip of the Day: If you're struggling for ideas to ensure that your child grows up to be a serial killer or rapist, have him violently beat his pet hamster to death with a hammer. (Sent in by Lynn Geter, currently serving time in the Meriwether County Jail, Georgia)
Bag with Kermit the Frog causes school closure
Smells Like: bombs , Colorado , panic , safety , weird
School was on lock down and bomb squads were called out to investigate a bag in the parking lot that contained a Kermit the Frog doll. Authorities are searching for a suspect with curly blond hair, wearing a red dress, and described as having a "pig-like" nose.
Man climbs into two school buses while en route
Smells Like: bus , Florida , safety , weird
No word yet why a 27-year old man would be interested in climbing a loaded school bus and boarding it through the vent on the roof, but it certainly seems like an inefficient way to get around town.
Teen Jumps off High School Roof
Smells Like: Rhode Island , safety , tragedy , weird
Probably the most interesting part of this story, is that fact this same boy has already attempted to jump from this same roof in a separate incident. This brings up the burning question- Why is it so easy to climb on to high school rooftops? Maybe somebody should have kept an eye on him after the first try?
Teacher Accused Of Stalking Teen
Smells Like: Oklahoma , safety , teachers , weird
According to reports, he would text and call the 14-year old in an attempt to "lure the girl to the park." It is not clear yet if he used candy as a bribe.
Teacher fired for using school network to find alien UFO's
Smells Like: Arizona , computers , space , teachers , technology , weird
After dumping about $1.5 million worth of computer equipment into his alien hunt, his attorney advised him it was time to call it quits. He installed programs into all of the school computers so he could track radio signals that beamed any signs of extraterrestrial life. I think it's safe to assume that he spent every minute of his work day monitoring these radio frequencies, and the only thing he ever found was porn...which also didn't help his case to keep his job.
Teacher charged with vandalizing Portland school
Smells Like: teachers , Tennessee , trouble , vandalism , weird
50 is a good age to start scratching items off your Bucket List, right? We're not sure if this teacher had one, but we do know she can now die knowing she trashed a school with sardines and condoms. I have no idea what the relationship is between those two objects, except maybe they had both been collecting dust at her home ever since she lost her sanity.
Teacher Accused of Using a Jump Rope to Tie Up Misbehaving Students
Smells Like: corporal punishment , North Carolina , recess , teachers , weird
What is troubling about this story, is that while bound, the teacher told the children, "This is what it’s going to be like when you’re in jail." The nerve of this lady to give out such inaccurate information to our youth! Even though jails are over-crowded, I don't think it's ever been common practice to tie up prisoners with a jump rope when they are causing trouble in the yard. Either they get shanked by another inmate or they're put in solitary confinement. No wonder kids haven't been scoring well on tests!
High school bans 'Meep' from student vocabulary
Smells Like: Massachusetts , policy , rights , weird
Story: What's wrong with 'meep'? It's all in how you say it
According to Merriam-Webster, the word 'meep' has absolutely no meaning. According to the principal at Danvers High, it stands for complete disrespect and disruption of the education process. Leave it to high school kids to find a creative way to have innocent fun around the hallways (and then get in trouble for it). Don't worry though, the English language is full of millions of non-words that will soon replace 'meep." Keep us updated Danvers!
22-year old man posed as high school student
Smells Like: Arizona , weird
Story: Yuma High School Duped By 22-Year-Old Man Posing as Student So He Could Play Basketball
Four months into the school year, it was finally discovered that this old man walking the halls was not the spring chicken he claimed to be. A lot of us have always said "If I could do high school over again..." Well, this guy got his wish. (Including having sex with high school girls). I guess it's easy for an 18-year old kid to enroll himself into high school with a birth certificate chalk-full of typo's in Arizona. I wonder if he has a real job he needs to get back to?
Drunken man reportedly rams stolen lawnmower into school bus
Smells Like: bus , drunk , Florida , weird
Story: Drunken man reportedly rams stolen lawnmower into school bus
When you're drunk, sometimes a big yellow bus takes the appearance of a thick, grassy lawn. Not until a bunch of middle school kids are pointing and laughing at you because you crashed and fell to the ground do you realize your mistake. Who would have thought that getting hammered and joyriding with your girlfriend on a stolen John Deere wouldn't pay off?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
