STORY: Roosevelt High School Under Fire For Communism v. Capitalism Worksheet
Lenin and Trotsky alive in Iowa
Smells Like: capitalism , communism , high school , idiocy , IowaSTORY: Roosevelt High School Under Fire For Communism v. Capitalism Worksheet
Taking the daily grind out of public schools
Smells Like: expression , Iowa , sex
No more pencils no more books, no more teacher’s dirty dancing looks!!! Valley High is stepping up to enforce a grinding policy that is long overdue. In response to parent concerns, students will have to sign a pledge to stop grinding at school dances. They even seem to have clearly defined grinding: “usually involves a boy facing a girl’s backside and their bodies rubbing together“. Whew…that leaves open the front to front rubbing of my generation and it seems that the GLBT students are off the hook as well. I love it when schools try to limit student expression. I recommend a strict dress code for the dance…perhaps jocks and cups for all students and an appropriate selection of songs that will not elicit erections…square dancing anyone?
Seniors leave water filled cups
Smells Like: Iowa , pranks
A sea of 14,000 water filled cups were left in the cafeteria with a thank you note to custodians and $50 for clean up. The cups spelled out "2010." Fifteen students fessed up and were sentenced for 3 hours community service, perhaps because it took 3 hours for the janitors to clean up.
Story: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-ia-iowa-seniorprank,0,5140765.story
Safe Sex Video Called Porn
Smells Like: Iowa , sex
An elementary art teacher showed a video that included a piece with a sexual undertone. The video featured an image of two men masturbating each other with the words, "safe sex" on the picture. Parents were infuriated with her inappropriateness, so how come she's on leave, but still getting paid?
Story: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-ia-artteacher-pornog,0,6758496.story
Waterloo acts to tamp down school 'spirit'
Smells Like: Iowa , policy , school spirit , sports
In an effort to make high school sports as undesirable as possible, the district has placed a ban on chants, signs, air horns, body paint, and more. The school is currently taking suggestions on how to minimize the amount of fun students have in other areas of education.
School District Explores Cell Phone Jamming
Smells Like: cell phone , Iowa , rights , technology
No word yet if they have explored a back up plan for when terrorists cut off the land lines from working too. And just so this school knows, even if they jam cell phones, teens will have no problems finding another gadget to distract them from learning during class. Besides, I heard cell phone jammers give you cancer.
Iowa Prep Football Coach Gunned Down At High School
Smells Like: guns , Iowa , safety , sports , tragedy , violence
This isn't the kind of story we like to report, but it does happen in our schools. Or in this case, our weightrooms. An ex-player interrupted a high school workout to shoot down his old coach. I am guessing witnessing this doesn't make your two-a-days any easier.
High School Umpire Ejects Whole Crowd
Smells Like: Iowa , school spirit , sports
...On his way home, he ejected all the drivers from the road, the cashier at a McDonalds drive-thru, and later that night he ejected his family from his home. He was found the next morning curled up in his shower (still with his umpire gear on), clutching a pillow yelling "you're out!" over and over again.
Iowa student gives classmates rat poison
Smells Like: health , Iowa , pranks , safety
Story: Iowa student gives classmates rat poison; all OK
Try some ketchup and mustard it helped us! According to the article, it is unclear why the student brought the rat poison to school. What we are confused about, is why seven classmates decided to eat the stuff?! Maybe it looked better than the cafeteria lunch that day.
Bad drivers to teach drivers ed.
Smells Like: Iowa , safety , teachers
I am still not sure if this is some sort of a punishment, or an ironic joke. But either way students will be taught to drive by teachers who have been convicted of causing traffic accidents. Great logic! Using this line of reasoning, do they plan on placing teachers who dropped out of college in their classrooms too? Personally, I would prefer to learn something new from someone who hasn't failed at it already.
Students Protest Against English Proficiency Test
Smells Like: Iowa , policy , protest , tests
She felt her fluency in English was perfect, so was offended that they made her take the test. She and her classmates decided to walk out. I remember pulling a similar stunt while taking the SATs. I felt I was very proficient with my math skills. After seeing the questions, I was insulted so I too walked away from the test. Turns out it costs my parents a few more hundred dollars to re-test because I was completely out of line and proved nothing. It's a state-mandate...suck it up and ace the test.
Drunk woman picks up kids from school
Smells Like: alcohol , drunk , Iowa , law , parents , safety
"Somebody tell me I'm pretty."Really though, who isn't drunk by 3pm? I can't think of a better way to bond with your 7 and 10 year olds than taking them on a wild police chase while wrapping your lips around a bottle of Jim Beam. Let's all make sure we keep her away from the punch bowl at school functions this year.
Parent arrested for drug use during school field trip
Smells Like: drugs , field trip , idiocy , Iowa , law , parents
Going on a field trip with your kid is a good way to break up a stressful work week, and also feel more involved in your childs academics. It's also a great way to be exposed as a meth addict. Aside from the arrest, he will most likely face an additional 100 hours of community service. Tough break for him, because I am guessing the judge won't allow him to help around the classroom.
Student, 15, charged in brownie theft
Smells Like: Iowa , law , lunch , theft , trouble
The real culprit? Childhood obesity. When are we gonna learn that tempting teens with sugars and sweets is only going to lead to irrational decision making. I will bet if the cafeteria filled its shelves with fruit salads and whole grain that these crimes wouldn't be happening. It is well known that brownie theft is a gateway behavior that leads to a life of doing time...the hard way.
Letter to student athletes shocks parents
Smells Like: grades , Iowa , parents , sex , sports
"I could have been All-State..."Story: Narcisse e-mail to student shocks parents, dismays board
One school board member took it upon himself to inspire athletes to keep their grades up by telling them if they don't they'll end up offering oral sex to strangers for money. While the analogy may seem a bit extreme, the message remains that he feels these teens need some tough love. Critics argue that perhaps some more tactful words could have been used. Once this story blew, the man immediately began challenging parents to push-up contests.
Teacher gets second drunken driving charge
Smells Like: alcohol , drunk , Iowa , law , teachers , trouble
To sweeten the deal, at the time of his arrest there was an underage student in his passenger seat! Nothing sounds more tempting than going on a drunk drive with one of your teachers. I wonder where in the lessons plans this homework assignment can be found.
Iowa college apologizes for offensive typo
Smells Like: college , idiocy , Iowa , racism
Briefly: A calendar was handed out to 10,000 students and in one February entry, instead of reading "Black History Lunch," it read "Black History Linch." Kind of a big over-sight don't you think? To make up for the mistake they gave everyone a sticker to put over it. Unfortunately you can't really put a sticker over 150 years of racism and unequal rights. Maybe next time they can have some non-white students proofread their publications.
Iowa to evaluate "Time Out" limits
Smells Like: harassment , Iowa , policy , rights
Story: State weighs limits on school 'timeouts,' restraints
Apparently some parents don't like the fact that their children spend hours and hours in locked rooms for 'time-out.' This was also in the proposed rules: "Educators can't hold a child face down or otherwise use force that hampers a child's ability to breathe." Based on the fact that they even had to have a discussion about suffocating kids, it makes me glad I don't have a child in Iowa schools. I wonder if they are allowed to hook students up to car batteries as a form of discipline? Or is that going to outlawed too?
Twenty-four fall ill at elementary school
Smells Like: health , Iowa , nurse
A whole class all of a sudden gets sick? Something doesn't add up about this story. I'll bet they had a standardized test that day and the teacher knew they weren't ready so she poisoned their lunches. It the only explanation that makes sense.
More Students Diagnosed with Tuberculosis at Lincoln High School
Smells Like: health , Iowa , panic
TB requires extended, close contact with an infected individual to contract it. They might want to get some blood samples and run a couple of STD tests on the student-body as well. Just a thought.
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