Death wish and the 1st Amendment


We can remember those writing assignments in high school in which we were asked to write persuasively (albeit naively) about a controversial topic from an opposing view. Or, asked to debate both sides of an argument regardless of our personal stance. Powerfully potential teaching and learning moments are these. Well, what if a student takes the assignment seriously and espouses a venomous position we find disgusting, and it gets published in the student newspaper? You guessed it...his piece is pulled (censorship) and the superintendent reams him a new one! This 15 year-old student at Shawano Community High School wrote a piece opposing gay couples right to adopt using ignorant and homophobic rationale, replete with passages from Leviticus 20:13. We abhor his position, but must defend his right to free speech. In fact, we might see Rick Santorum citing this kid's work in his next attack on gays.

STORY: Brandon Wegner Threatens School With Legal Action For Removing OpEd Mentioning Gays Be 'Put To Death' (VIDEO)


BREAKING: WI High School Student Holding 19 Hostages


UPDATE: ALL HOSTAGES HAVE BEEN RELEASED WITH NO INJURIES. STAY TUNED.

A high school student in Wisconsin took 23 students and 1 teacher hostage at the end of the school day today. He burst into a classroom with a handgun and took control of a classroom. So far, no one is known to be injured, and he just released 5 of the hostages.

STORY: Cops: 5 hostages freed from Wis. classroom


Teacher Punishes First Grader By Cutting Her Hair


The little girl kept playing with her pigtails during class, so the teacher cut one off. I would hate to be a boy caught with my hands in my pants.


Wis. teacher's aide accused of having sex with 12-year-old boy

Story: Wis. teacher's aide accused of having sex with 12-year-old boy

Who needs the Make-a-Wish Foundation when there are teachers willing to put out to pre-teens? Looking back, I wonder if her little fling with a 12-year old will be worth 60 years in prison?


Teacher Accused of Showing Nude Photos

Story: Teacher Accused of Showing Nude Photos

"What's your bra size?" Usually when your after-school tutoring session begins with that question, you're not gonna be getting a lot of calculus done.


Schools in the dark about tainted lunches

Story: Schools in the dark about tainted lunches

Del Ray taco shells have been making kids sick for years. But why would a school have any knowledge of this when they are ordering and serving lunches? Better yet, at what point will some nutrition agency step in and regulate the crap kids are forced to eat? And we wonder why parents are sending their kids in with fast food.


Depressed teacher can sue school district


Story: Depressed teacher can sue school district

Have you ever heard that some people will try to sue you for anything? Well let's listen to this teachers case. Evidently she has some disorder that requires her to be exposed to natural light (not the beer). In 2005, her classroom was moved and it did not feature exterior windows. She claimed to have begun suffering from the following side effects: "significant inability to concentrate, organize her thoughts, retrieve words, make decisions, and focus on the needs of her students, hypersomnia, racing thoughts, panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, inability to eat, and thoughts of suicide." That was 2005. She hasn't taught there since. This is 2009, and it's time to take the school to court! My only question is, "Hey sweetheart, don't you live in a Wisconsin town that only gets like 90 days of sun during the year? And all of them are in the summer when you're not teaching? Help me out to understand this natural lighting disease of yours a little better."


Beaver Dam middle school to try same-sex classes



The principal hopes that seperating boys and girls will improve test scores. "Supporters say boys and girls learn differently, and they do better when they're surrounded with students who act and think as they do." This sounds like a perfect way to get them adapted to the real world, where men and women do not work together. I wonder if they plan to paint the different rooms pink and blue?


Accuser's lies killed career of teacher more than pot habit

Story: Accuser's lies killed career of teacher more than pot habit

The author of this original article supports the dope smoking teacher because, "millions of otherwise productive adults use it" and "it's mildly illegal." Well, Mr. Stingl, hate to break the news to you, but millions of adults aren't subject to urine tests, employed by a drug-free school district, and are trusted with maintaining the well-being of hundreds of children each day. Maybe this guy got a bad rap with some harsh accusations, but that doesn't justify that we need him teaching again. Trust me, there are plenty of clean teachers out there who would love to have a job this year.


Columbus High School student dies after playing 'the choking game'


The local teens have developed a popular game in which they deliberately strangle themselves. I guess the goal is to survive. This young man did not. That's usually a good sign that the game has a couple of flaws. To our knowledge, Jigsaw from the SAW movies had nothing to do with encouraging this activity.



Principal sits on roof to raise money for school

Story: Principal sits on roof to raise money for school


Was he planning on jumping if he didn't reach his goal? And isn't there some kind of risk management department in this school district? A roof can't be the safest place to host a fundraiser. It took Steve Martin's character from Roxanne to finally coax him down.


Xavier students rally around ousted high school teacher


Ask yourself if you've ever spent the night with a girl before. If the answer is yes, then you better thank god (well not the Catholic god), that you still have your job. This teacher had a couple drinks and crashed with his girlfriend. According to his school and religion, that is a big "no-no." In other words, they would have much rather seen him drive home drunk.


Teacher attacks vandal's faulty grammar

Story: Teacher attacks vandal's faulty grammar

A teacher is going around posting a page-long explanation describing the spelling errors with local graffiti. The sad thing is, most of it is probably coming from current or former students of her school. Not that vandals will ever care about sentence fragments or what a prepostition is, but does this mean she is encouraging more graffiti, just as long as it is grammatically correct? To answer your next question: No, some people must not have anything better to do.


Elmbrook Schools Sued over Graduations at Elmbrook Church

Story: Elmbrook Schools Sued over Graduations at Elmbrook Church


For nine years, graduation has been at the same church. All of a sudden the church-state argument strikes home with some people. In a related note, some parents of unathletic students in nearby schools are protesting that their graduation be moved from local civic arenas.


Turner teacher suspended for headlock on student


The girl had to tap out when she realized there is no reason a teacher should be putting students in headlocks. After his suspension, the teacher will be forced to change his future lesson plans of pile drivers and figure-four leg locks.


11-year-old boy brings pot to school

Story: 11-year-old boy brings pot to school

No word if the fifth grader was able to sell any bags to teachers, but when he was caught he had three left. He will mostly likely get a bigger whooping form his older brother, who he took them from, than his parents.


Appleton schools nix Civil War re-enactment battle

Story: Appleton schools nix Civil War re-enactment battle


They are still teaching the Civil War, just without one feature- the war! Even though guns and violence are rich deep in our American history, these fifth graders will now learn otherwise. It seems the Civil War was a bit too violent. Before long, all of our major wars and conflicts will be depicted as stimulating debates with the winner chosen by his excellent rhetoric.


Man arrested waiting for 14-year old after school



The 20-year old man was waiting for his sweetheart outside of the school with a diamond ring. He then explained to the police that this is just like a 26-year old being in love with a 20-year old. Now hopefully he will listen as the rest of the world explains to him that anything under 18 is statutory rape. Who would have thought that you can add "dates with creepy older men" to your list of extracurricular after-school activities.


Student accused of urinating in drink

Story: Hartford student accused of urinating in drink

Are no adults around when a teenage boy pulls out his thing and starts peeing into a Gatorade bottle? And shouldn't the victim know that unless he was drinking hot chocolate, there's really no reason his drink should have been warm. On a related note, the school is also warning students not to accept Baby Ruth bars from their peers.


Middle School students suspended for YouTube fight videos



The smarter and more tech-savvy teens are becoming, the more they lose the abilities of common sense and reason. During their time off from school, the students plan to recruit other suspended youth and expand their operations into more fighting videos. And the principal doesn't have to waste his time sifting through YouTube 'fight' searches...he can just see who is coming to school with black eyes are scars on their hands.


 
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