'Snurf' Pills Sicken High School Students

Story: 'Snurf' Pills Bought Online Sicken High School Students

Next thing you know principals are going to want to ban halucenogenic pills from the schools. Evidently these boys bought the drugs online, got weirded out in class, puked everywhere, and now they are in the hospital. Maybe your English classroom isn't the best place to experiment with new drugs?

<a href="http://pagesperso-orange.fr/michel-jacques.rebeix/pez-set-old-smurfs.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://pagesperso-orange.fr/michel-jacques.rebeix/pez-set-old-smurfs.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; text-align: center;" /></a><strong> Story:</strong> <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,419222,00.html">'Snurf' Pills Bought Online Sicken High School Students</a><br /><br /><div align="justify">Next thing you know principals are going to want to ban halucenogenic pills from the schools. Evidently these boys bought the drugs online, got weirded out in class, puked everywhere, and now they are in the hospital. Maybe your English classroom isn't the best place to experiment with new drugs?</div>

High School to use breathalyzers at dances

Story: Milford to use breathalyzers at school dances

School dances will be starting an hour earlier to accomodate for the long lines as they test every student for alcohol at the door. Easy, all you have to do is sneak the booze in and get drunk at the dance. They also plan on doing random tests during the school day. "If the student refuses to take the test, that's the same as failing the test and he'll be suspended for 10 days. " Seems like they are targeting the boys with that statement. Is this also their policy when a student refuses to take a math test?

<a href="http://news.timtechs.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/beathalyzer.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://news.timtechs.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/beathalyzer.gif" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><br /><div><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"></span></div><div><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Story:</span> <a href="http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=8975049&nav=menu29_2">Milford to use breathalyzers at school dances</a></div><div></div><div align="justify">School dances will be starting an hour earlier to accomodate for the long lines as they test every student for alcohol at the door. Easy, all you have to do is sneak the booze in and get drunk <em>at</em> the dance. They also plan on doing random tests during the school day. "<em>If the student refuses to take the test, that's the same as failing the test and he'll be suspended for 10 days</em>. " Seems like they are targeting the boys with that statement. Is this also their policy when a student refuses to take a math test? </></div>

Nude Motorist Stops Outside Elementary School

Story: Nude Motorist Stops Outside Elementary School

Hey, that's not my usual crossing guard! Everybody has seen a cute driver in the car next to you. Some people have gone so far as to wink or wave. This guy figured the best way to flatter one female was to follow her a couple blocks, hop out of his truck, drop his pants, and start masturbating in front of her...all while elementary school kids are present. So for the record, if anyone else has considered this, it's probably best to restrain ourselves to a wink.

<a href="http://www.h4x3d.com/feat/themes/man.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.h4x3d.com/feat/themes/man.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 318px; height: 239px;" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://www.wcsh6.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=92513&catid=2">Nude Motorist Stops Outside Elementary School</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Hey, that's not my usual crossing guard!</span> Everybody has seen a cute driver in the car next to you. Some people have gone so far as to wink or wave. This guy figured the best way to flatter one female was to follow her a couple blocks, hop out of his truck, drop his pants, and start masturbating in front of her...all while elementary school kids are present. So for the record, if anyone else has considered this, it's probably best to restrain ourselves to a wink.<br /></div><span> </span>

PA Elementary School Confirms MRSA Case

Story: West Mifflin Confirms Elementary School MRSA Case

Here's a couple of fun facts about this infectious bacterial disease: 1.) It kills more people that AIDS, and 2.) It is most common among prison inmates. This does not sound like something we need in the United States, let alone our schools. In short, if this problem doesn't get treated and we neglect to educate everyone about it, it'll start spreading...athletes first...and then we'll have more serious issues to face in education than teachers wages. To learn more visit StopMRSANow.org.

<a href="http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2008/february13/gifs/Cent_Surgery_600.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2008/february13/gifs/Cent_Surgery_600.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 351px; height: 279px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://www.wpxi.com/education/17421408/detail.html">West Mifflin Confirms Elementary School MRSA Case</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Here's a couple of fun facts about this infectious bacterial disease: 1.) It kills more people that AIDS, and 2.) It is most common among prison inmates. This does not sound like something we need in the United States, let alone our schools. In short, if this problem doesn't get treated and we neglect to educate everyone about it, it'll start spreading...athletes first...and then we'll have more serious issues to face in education than teachers wages. To learn more visit <a href="http://stopmrsanow.org/">StopMRSANow.org.</a><br /></div><span> </span>

Teen pleads guilty to assault during soccer brawl

Story: Teen pleads guilty to assault during soccer brawl

I think the band Survivor once wrote a song about how easy it is to get caught up in the moment of victory. Their goal was more for training montages, I don't think they had in mind high school soccer players kicking other kids to death in the head over and over again. Yes, cleats are considered a deadly weapon, and that my friends, is assault. I feel bad for the poor mom who thought soccer would be a safer alternative than football for her son.

<a href="http://www.submarinebaseph.com/DasBoot2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.submarinebaseph.com/DasBoot2.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 323px;" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_10412049">Teen pleads guilty to assault during soccer brawl</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I think the band <span style="font-style: italic;">Survivor </span>once wrote a song about how easy it is to get caught up in the moment of victory. Their goal was more for training montages, I don't think they had in mind high school soccer players kicking other kids to death in the head over and over again. Yes, cleats are considered a deadly weapon, and that my friends, is assault. I feel bad for the poor mom who thought soccer would be a safer alternative than football for her son.<br /></div><span> </span>

Chicago plans to open gay high school

Story: Gay high school planned

Rather than educate students and embrace sexual tolerance, they feel the best way to solve the problem of students making "gay" comments is by giving these teens their own school. Chicago also has plans to open separate high schools for 'fat kids only,' 'Nintendo nerds only,' and 'kids with dandruff and acne problems only.' Once we have completely isolated everyone with a difference, we will finally be able to create a world that is close-minded and ignorant of everything. The good news? They are going to have the best musicals!

<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/arts/photos/2008/05/13/arts_kids-in-the-hall_584.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/arts/photos/2008/05/13/arts_kids-in-the-hall_584.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://windycitymediagroup.com/gay/lesbian/news/ARTICLE.php?AID=19257"><span class="fp-newshead">Gay high school planned</span></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Rather than educate students and embrace sexual tolerance, they feel the best way to solve the problem of students making "gay" comments is by giving these teens their own school. Chicago also has plans to open separate high schools for 'fat kids only,' 'Nintendo nerds only,' and 'kids with dandruff and acne problems only.' Once we have completely isolated everyone with a difference, we will finally be able to create a world that is close-minded and ignorant of everything. The good news?<span style="font-style: italic;"> They are going to have the </span><span style="font-style: italic;">best </span><span style="font-style: italic;">musicals!</span><br /></div><span> </span>

Dress code required at football games

Story: Montgomery school dress code required at games

Fans wearing flip-flops and 2Pac shirts were becoming too much to handle for stadium security. This new ban also applies to the visiting side. So somehow this school will have to inform all fans from around the state that you can't wear regular street clothes to their games. In fact, they replaced the scoreboard with a huge sign that reads, "Gentlemen Only." This is the first step in a long-term plan that will eventually eliminate cheering, and keeping score.

<a href="http://www.anvilchorus.org.uk/images/qt_chime_gentlemen_2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.anvilchorus.org.uk/images/qt_chime_gentlemen_2.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://www.al.com/newsflash/regional/index.ssf?/base/news-38/1220640257139320.xml&storylist=alabamanews">Montgomery school dress code required at games</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Fans wearing flip-flops and 2Pac shirts were becoming too much to handle for stadium security. This new ban also applies to the visiting side. So somehow this school will have to inform all fans from around the state that you can't wear regular street clothes to their games. In fact, they replaced the scoreboard with a huge sign that reads, "Gentlemen Only." This is the first step in a long-term plan that will eventually eliminate cheering, and keeping score.<br /></div><span> </span>

N.Y. Schools Begin Tracking Obesity Levels

Story: N.Y. Begins Tracking Obesity Levels in Some Schools

One more thing for teens to be stressed out about in school. Now we can actually give them a concrete number to support their subconscious beliefs about gaining weight. Measuring BMI will in no way effect the self-esteem of skinny kids. How about this for research...take a look kids with their shirts off, realize they are chubbier than kids 20 years ago, then put some money back into physical education in schools. Or just ask any doctor about the skyrocketing rates of diabetes in children. Just save the embarrassment of forcing kids to step on scales before they walk into class.

<a href="http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/04/21/fat_thin_lead_wideweb__470x349,0.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/04/21/fat_thin_lead_wideweb__470x349,0.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story: </span><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/story?id=5718782&page=1">N.Y. Begins Tracking Obesity Levels in Some Schools</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">One more thing for teens to be stressed out about in school. Now we can actually give them a concrete number to support their subconscious beliefs about gaining weight. Measuring BMI will in no way effect the self-esteem of skinny kids. How about this for research...take a look kids with their shirts off, realize they are chubbier than kids 20 years ago, then put some money back into physical education in schools. Or just ask any doctor about the skyrocketing rates of diabetes in children. Just save the embarrassment of forcing kids to step on scales before they walk into class.<br /></div><span> </span>

DetentionSlip.org Reaches Milestone

CELEBRATING OUR 500th POST

Thanks to all of the readers that have made DetentionSlip.org one of the most popular sites on the internet. As you can see by the projected stats,* in roughly six months we will have become the #1 most visited website in the world! Let's keep rockin!

<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >CELEBRATING OUR 500th POST</span></span><br /></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqBELTV6_buG8Q0fNpZ3_Z5Lk8hzLvnWc3JtmdM57kZRYjJyIqQeqnGJ_FEweL_5MLrHBslaxA-_KOvHSnys6xXQWGIe-Jj90Qd4jAyDU8Zrz1JXNpL_k7uucywvVZ1dOXldxNwyHsx-9d/s1600-h/traffic+rank.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242695518407630866" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqBELTV6_buG8Q0fNpZ3_Z5Lk8hzLvnWc3JtmdM57kZRYjJyIqQeqnGJ_FEweL_5MLrHBslaxA-_KOvHSnys6xXQWGIe-Jj90Qd4jAyDU8Zrz1JXNpL_k7uucywvVZ1dOXldxNwyHsx-9d/s400/traffic+rank.JPG" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><span>Thanks to all of the readers that have made <a href="http://detentionslip.org/">DetentionSlip.org</a> one of the most popular sites on the internet. As you can see by the projected stats,* in roughly six months we will have become the #1 most visited website in the world! Let's keep rockin!<br /><br /></span></div><span> </span>

Bus drivers crash, cuss, abuse and lose

Crazy! School bus drivers can't get it right today!

It all started when a New York driver got lost before school and took a busload to students on a 4 1/2 hour detour! For those not great in math, that is more than half of school day kids spent as the driver was trying to figure things out. While he was busy getting lost, a Connecticut driver had his feet kicked up at home, not realizing he left a girl on the bus for the second time! Luckily, it was only the first time for an Indiana driver who did the same thing! Parents love hearing that their 4 and 5-year old sons or daughters are trapped unsupervised inside a school bus at some parking lot. At least they were safe, which was more than the dozen kids in Colorado can say after smashing into the back of a semi. I can see how huge trucks can get overlooked while you're driving. Unless, like the DC bus aide, he was too busy sexually assaulting special needs girls on the bus. Hope you're proud of yourself man! Too bad the Kansas driver who made suggestive comments to the last girl on the bus didn't get the memo that this behavior is completely unacceptable. Oh, and the driver who fought two students in Tennessee might also want to bone up on school bus etiquette.

So wow! A lot in the world of school buses today. Who would have thought the kids don't even have to get to school before the trouble starts? Apparently it's not hard to pass your CDL test nowadays.

<a href="http://www.italintl.com/images_db/crazybus2-jfc_a.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.italintl.com/images_db/crazybus2-jfc_a.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Crazy! School bus drivers can't get it right today!<br /></span><span><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span>It all started</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span>when a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/04/nyregion/04bus.html?em">New York driver got lost</a> before school and took a busload to students on a 4 1/2 hour detour! For those not great in math, that is more than half of school day kids spent as the driver was trying to figure things out.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>While he was busy getting lost, a Connecticut driver had his feet kicked up at home, not realizing he <a href="http://www.wfsb.com/news/17383375/detail.html#-">left a girl on the bus</a> for the second time! Luckily, it was only the first time for an <a href="http://www.fox28.com/global/story.asp?s=8955715">Indiana driver who did the same thing</a>! Parents love hearing that their 4 and 5-year old sons or daughters are trapped unsupervised inside a school bus at some parking lot.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span>At least they were safe, which was more than the <a href="http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7358908&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1">dozen kids in Colorado</a> can say after smashing into the back of a semi. I can see how huge trucks can get overlooked while you're driving. Unless, like the DC bus aide, he was too busy <a href="http://www.gazette.net/stories/09042008/montnew161131_32521.shtml">sexually assaulting special needs girls</a> on the bus. Hope you're proud of yourself man! Too bad the <a href="http://www.kake.com/news/headlines/27883869.html">Kansas driver who made suggestive comments</a> to the last girl on the bus didn't get the memo that this behavior is completely unacceptable. Oh, and the driver who <a href="http://www.murfreesboropost.com/news.php?viewStory=12818">fought two students</a> in Tennessee might also want to bone up on school bus etiquette.</span><br /><br /><span>So wow! A lot in the world of school buses today. Who would have thought the kids don't even have to get to school before the trouble starts? Apparently it's not hard to pass your CDL test nowadays.</span><br /></div><span> </span>

Boy, 8, hands out hundreds in fake $20 bills

$50 dollar bill! $50 dollar bill!

Story: Boy, 8, hands out pile of $20 bills - all fake

Let's talk about trickle down effect for a minute. The boy steals money from his parents, who already have warrants out and a collection of felonies. The parents are now facing more criminal charges for counterfeit money. When they get the chance, they're gonna whoop the kids ass for taking these fake bills to school. Then they'll lose custody, and most likely be breaking parole in the process. So who is the winner here? The 2nd grade math teachers who will be able to skip the money chapter in their lesson plans.

<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://a.bebo.com/app-image/6897908631/5411656627/PROFILE/i.yaquiz.com/img/q/u/08/04/02/data.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://a.bebo.com/app-image/6897908631/5411656627/PROFILE/i.yaquiz.com/img/q/u/08/04/02/data.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 185px;" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">$50 dollar bill! $50 dollar bill!</span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Story:</span><!-- HEADLINE --><span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><a href="http://www.ocala.com/article/20080904/NEWS/809040330/0/OPINION&title=Boy__8__hands_out_pile_of__20_bills___all_fake">Boy, 8, hands out pile of $20 bills - all fake</a><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span>Let's talk about trickle down effect for a minute. The boy steals money from his parents, who already have warrants out and a collection of felonies. The parents are now facing more criminal charges for counterfeit money. When they get the chance, they're gonna whoop the kids ass for taking these fake bills to school. Then they'll lose custody, and most likely be breaking parole in the process. So who is the winner here? <span style="font-style: italic;">The 2nd grade math teachers who will be able to skip the money chapter in their lesson plans.</span></span><br /></div><span> </span>

Teen arrested after school threat on Facebook

"Summer dreams, ripped at the seams."

Story: NY teen arrested after school threat on Facebook

The reason behind threatening to "kill everyone in the school?" To extend her summer vacation. It's a tall order to take out an entire school, especially for an honor student with no history of violent behavior. But you got your wish sweetheart, you didn't have to go back to class on the first day. So now she can add a criminal record to her list of fun things she accomplished during her wonderful summer break.

<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOAZp5A9Yp7XPqXTvArZE2KqB56AcXmPClO6CJEja2WFnJS4E7K3xFvT-S8AyAbjwyACbJP661299waADHBzeDzNRlyY4UToWrMHtDZy9VWvttgisHhAk1H7aXyMGWdTO9R1rmp67iRx7B/s1600-h/pic.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="262" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242175944505434130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOAZp5A9Yp7XPqXTvArZE2KqB56AcXmPClO6CJEja2WFnJS4E7K3xFvT-S8AyAbjwyACbJP661299waADHBzeDzNRlyY4UToWrMHtDZy9VWvttgisHhAk1H7aXyMGWdTO9R1rmp67iRx7B/s320/pic.JPG" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" width="195" /></a><em>"Summer dreams, ripped at the seams."</em><br /><em></em></div><span style="font-weight: bold;">Story:</span> <a href="http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hY5bAC6HxOI4TIej8Ba8HJoto1YwD92VIKFG5">NY teen arrested after school threat on Facebook</a><br /><br /><div align="justify">The reason behind threatening to "kill everyone in the school?" To extend her summer vacation. It's a tall order to take out an entire school, especially for an honor student with no history of violent behavior. But you got your wish sweetheart, you didn't have to go back to class on the first day. So now she can add a criminal record to her list of fun things she accomplished during her wonderful summer break. </div>