Teacher Suspended For Shooting Nerf Dart


The sad thing is that we have to come to terms with the fact that zero-tolerance now includes Nerf items. But if you really want to shot of reality for the state of our nation, the mother of the victim wants to press charges! When we're done asking a focus group of 2-year olds, we'll let you know how you treat someone who has been injured by harmless foam.


Employee accused of videotaping girls in school bathroom


It's almost exhausting making Porky's references, because surprisingly this happens more than you would want to believe. And one wild guess who is responsible...? The tech coordinator! One of these days, we will finally invent the invisibility cloak, and the fantasies of all men can come true. In the meantime, let's be aware that this is highly illegal and completely unprofessional. Oh, and a little bit creepy.


Drunk woman picks up kids from school

"Somebody tell me I'm pretty."


Really though, who isn't drunk by 3pm? I can't think of a better way to bond with your 7 and 10 year olds than taking them on a wild police chase while wrapping your lips around a bottle of Jim Beam. Let's all make sure we keep her away from the punch bowl at school functions this year.


Cheese sandwiches for students whose parents are poor



Here's the problem- What do you do about parents who refuse to pay their childrens lunch tabs? For now the best solution is two slices of bread with a piece of american cheese in the middle. Well, when it's costing the schools tens of thousands of dollars to cover bad debt, can you blame them? They could just tell them to eat the other kids leftovers. Schools also plan to provide students with stones and slate if they can't afford a pencil and paper.


12-year-old Makes Homeless Shelter from Trash





Story:
12-year-old Makes Homeless Shelter from Trash

Max Wallack is awesome. He's getting all kinds of national publicity for his recent design of a homeless shelter from recycled items. Amazing.

This post was featured here: All Things Eco and Green Living


Assistant Principal Threatens to Kill Student

Story: Assistant Principal Threatens to Kill Student

Last I checked, students usually face arrest and expulsion for making such terroristic threats. Parents don't to too excited when they hear the news about a principal saying he will kill children during school. When this guy finally wakes up from his Vietnam flashbacks, we can only hope it won't be in a school setting.


Teachers Could Be Charged for Staging Pot Sting



It seems like these teachers forgot that every city and state pays officers to enforce the laws. If everyone went around trying to set up their own drug stings, something tells me it wouldn't be a pretty sight. Or maybe these teachers were actually just trying to score some weed for themselves? Way to put the well-being and safety of an innocent student at risk!


Teacher Accused Of Slapping Student

Story: Teacher Accused Of Slapping Student

Ever make a face at your mom, and she threatens to "slap it right off" you? That's kinda what happened here, except in this case the 11-year old girls mom was probably at work assuming her child is in the safe hands of a teacher. Maybe this teacher was busy texting during the part of her training when they reminded you not to assault children.


Missing teacher and student found in West Virginia



Ahh, young love...(and 20-something love). There is nothing more romantic than running away with one of your 15-year old students and embarking on a cross-country road trip with him. Not sure what their final destination was, but I am guessing it had the word "paradise" somewhere in it. As long as that paradise doesn't recognize kidnapping and statutory rape as felonies, they will live happily ever after.


Cougar sightings near school cancels recess

Story: Report cougar sightings near school cancels recess

Though there are no pictures or footprints, there are reports that a cougar was missing a few years ago in the area. Witnesses also saw a silverback gorilla on the monkey bars over the weekend, so school officials are taking proper precautions to keep the children safe and indoors.


Texas lacks sex education in state schools



From the article, "One educator found literature comparing women's sexuality to crock pots and men's to microwaves." Hmm, I would say that just about summarizes everything a teen needs to know before they become sexually active. Makes me wonder what they are teaching in Home Ec. class. By the way, wasn't it Texas where a teen flushed her newborn down a school toilet? Maybe she thought it was a casserole?


Students Boycott Dance After Principal Bans 'Grinding'



Less than a week after reporting this story, it's all been called off. Once the principal required students to sign a waiver stating they won't dance sexually, the students decided that isn't really a dance, so no one bought tickets. It's a good thing they didn't hear his initial idea of not having music, but playing Books on Tape instead. And just a heads up to the local police, they should probably start trying to figure out whose parents will be out of town that weekend.


Explosive found in NY school official's office

Story: Explosive found in NY school official's office


This guy was accused of bombing a house a few years ago, so my hunch is that rather than keep his explosives at home (where the feds can find them), he has been using his office within the school district as his own little workshop. This sounds like the kind of employee we want around our children, right?


Frozen body found at elementary school

Story: Frozen body found at Saginaw elementary school


This time, it wasn't a suspended student. You can imagine the frustration a child faces when they've been waiting patiently for the 46-year old woman to go down the slide, only to learn that she is frozen there. Too bad this "jungle" gym had "arctic" conditions.


7 School Buses Set On Fire In Coatesville


Hey, at least there were no students on them at the time. Plus, it will give the kids something to cheer for when they see their old bus compete at the monster truck derby this year.


Superintendent Fired for Porn

Story: Glynn County School Superintendent Fired


With a salary of close to $170,000, you gotta believe he can afford a personal computer to access the internet and fulfill his raging addiction to porn sites. So if anyone is wondering why Georgia schools are consistently some of the worst for drop-out and graduation rates, it might be because one of their superintendents is busy downloading XXX pics on his Blackberry instead of focusing on education reform.


Boy dragged by bus; driver says he didn't see him




Pop quiz hot shot: You're driving 35 mph and there's a third grader dangling from the door by his jacket. Do you stop and avoid the risk of severely injuring the boy, or do you keep driving because you know he doesn't normally ride the bus? Well buddy, unfortunately this wasn't an episode of The Twilight Zone, and that was a real child who was just dragged 300 feet. The school district vows to make a better effort in the future by not hiring blind, hearing-impaired drivers.


Ohio High School Principal Implements Dirty Dancing Ban


After considering instituting a "no touching" policy, the principal decided he wanted to make school dances as little fun as possible. Acting under the belief that young boys and girls shouldn't be attracted to each other, limiting contact or any suggestion of sexual movements will be banned. I wonder how he would have reacted as a young teen if they took away Chubby Checkers "Twist" at his school dance.


Middle School students suspended for YouTube fight videos



The smarter and more tech-savvy teens are becoming, the more they lose the abilities of common sense and reason. During their time off from school, the students plan to recruit other suspended youth and expand their operations into more fighting videos. And the principal doesn't have to waste his time sifting through YouTube 'fight' searches...he can just see who is coming to school with black eyes are scars on their hands.


Schools are no longer nitpicky about head lice


What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Give it a couple months until 90% of the student body and staff all have lice because it isn't labeled as a pressing health concern. It makes you wonder if schools have struck a marketing deal with an anti-lice shampoo company to help offset some budget deficit.
Post featured on this page about Homeschooling.


Officer tasers woman, draws gun on angry crowd at game

Story: Eureka officer draws gun on angry crowd


The Rules of Engagement state, that when mobs of parents can't control their emotions during a high school basketball game, the use of a deadly weapon is necessary. It really gave a new meaning to the slang hoops term "shoot-out." Well, if it hasn't started already, I am sure that metal detectors will be present at all games in the future. Anything to make high school sports more enjoyable.


High School Rescinds Ban on Muslim Scarves


Story: Pennsylvania High School Rescinds Ban on Muslim Scarves


Only a day after odering two students to remove their scarves, the administration realized it would be easier to allow the boys to honor their tradition than dealing with angry mobs and civil rights leaders filing discrimination law suits against the school. By the way, Muslims didn't just start wearing scarves last week, so we're not sure why the principal all of a sudden decided that these were symbols of terrorism.


Principal Arrested for Assaulting Teen

Story: Principal Arrested Following Incident

It always boosts your ego a little when you can take out your frustrations on a 15-year old child. If only mothers across the country would be ok with principals beating up their kids, then maybe school discipline wouldn't be such a hot button. So how is this principal gonna turn around and tell his students not to fight?


Teacher charged with public drunkenness



Under the impression that chaperoning a school trip means getting hammered and forfeiting the responsibility of supervising students, this lady took it upon herself to make a boring Model U.N. lesson a little more interesting. Chances are the school won't be asking her to join any prom-night safety committees this year.


Teacher fights to wear mask at school



With a history of severe allergies, all she wants is to wear her respiratory mask around campus when she isn't in her air-filtered room. The administration (acting on the assumption that the children are fueled by ghost stories) feels that the mask might spook students and cause a disruption in the school. Here we have an employee who actually wants to teach, but the county would rather pay for a sub while she is on sick leave. As long as she isn't carrying around a bloody machete as well, what's the problem here?


14-year old Girl Arrested For Texting In Class



Among addictions such as drugs and alcohol, you can now add 'texting' to the list of crimes that will land you an appearance in court.  When a student refuses to give their thumbs a break during class, it's handcuff time.  It should make us all proud that our advances in technology are only causing us to create criminals in the classroom.


Teachers Wear Band-Aids To Bring Attention To Budget Cuts



Cutting the school budget has exactly the same feel of getting slashed in the face (or popping a really big zit). This is what Daytona, Fl. teachers want the world to know. The sad news- when the scars on their metaphorical bodies heal, thousands of teachers will still be without a job. On a positive note, Johnson & Johnson is reporting that they have already reached their quarterly goals due to an unusual spike in Band-Aid sales in Central Florida.


Time Magazine names DetentionSlip.org one of the best 25 blogs of 2009


Time Magazine has published their definitive 25 Best Blogs of 2009 List, and DetentionSlip.org has made the cut. DetentionSlip is the only education related blog to ever make the list, which includes The Huffington Post, Lifehacker, Freakonomics, BoingBoing, Mashable, The Official Google Blog and more. Interestingly, two of our favorites, Tech Crunch and Perez Hilton, both were sent to the Top 5 Over-rated Blogs this year... ouch!

You can read their full listing, presented in slide-show, on Time.com.

We've been fortunate enough to receive other awards in the past, including Best Education Blog by Best of Blogs and we are currently in first place for "Best Education Blog 2009" & "Best Overall Blog 2009" by The Bloggers Choice Awards. Thanks so much to the DetentionSlip.org team and fans who have made us such a success.

We have Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" playing around the office in celebration of making the Time.com blogs list for 2009!


Student Claims Teacher Attacked Him, School Covered Up Incident

Story: Student Claims Teacher Attacked Him, School Covered Up Incident


The teacher (a former police officer) claimed he had to defend himself before he was attacked by the unarmed student. This somehow justified grabbing him by the neck, slamming him into cabinets, and punching the boy. It sure sounds like the teachers life was being threatened doesn't it? It's a surprise that the teacher didn't try to bite part of the boys ear off during all this.


Student finds error on state test

Story: Error on state test slips past everyone -- except East High student

What a geek! No, but really, hopefully this helps defend the argument that standardized tests aren't as effective as everyone wants them to be. In the meantime, would it kill them to have some qualified people proofread these tests?


Ohio teacher cut class for prostitution


A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do to make ends meet. And if that means making arrangements on a school computer to meet a guy for a quickie, then leaving your class to take care of business...so be it. Oddly, she was never questioned by her fourth graders as to why she always had so many fifty dollar bills available when they did their money lessons.


Litchfield School Doesn't Heart Valentine's Day



Whether or not the event has any real merit, at some point the country decided to make Valentine's Day a national holiday. But one school in Connecticut plays by their own rules, and doesn't allow the children to acknowledge this day exists. The school is currently combing through teachers lessons plans in effort to cancel anything else that might suggest the students are having fun.


14 middle school students suspended for chewing gum

Story: 14 Burns students suspended for chewing gum

Generally, the order of events for discipline goes like this: Warning> Parent Contacted> Detention> Suspension. But something as serious as chewing gum warrants a school to go right for a knock out punch, and suspend anyone caught with it. We understand that most schools ban gum, but I gotta believe there are more severe problems education is facing.


Teacher suspended for taping child's mouth shut


Haven't teachers learned yet that you can't use tape to punish kids? He also taped a girl to her chair! I am beginning to wonder if we are actually training teachers about discipline, or just sending them to Office Depot and telling them to go nuts.


Hundreds Of Kids Beaten, Whipped, Even Choked By Teachers, Coaches

Story: Hundreds Of Kids Beaten, Whipped, Even Choked By Teachers, Coaches


A heart-warming story out of Chicago informs the rest of us that many students fear being hurt by their teachers. This is mostly due to the fact that they have seen a classmate attacked by a teacher, often more than once. Maybe Chicago needs to bone up on their corporal punishment policy awareness. I think we have moved on a little bit since the days of assualting children for not listening in school. And we wonder why there is so much violence surrounding the Chicago area.


12-year old girl forced to take pregnancy test at school




Based on a rumor (most likely started by other 12-year old girls), the school counselor decided find out for himself if it was true. Not really sure what business of his it is if she was pregnant, but maybe that's just how he gets his rocks off. Well, she was NOT pregnant, just publically humiliated by school officials. Which also means whatever boy was accused of doing it with her, is now back to square one for proving to his friends he went all the way.


Fla. school sued over refusing gay-straight club



The school does not feel students should have a forum to discuss gay tolerance and discrimination. The students and ACLU feel differently. No word yet whether or not the Principal has a "God Hates Fags" sticker on the back of his truck though.


Big DC fight leads to arrests, injuries

Some reports say this brawl was started by one girl pulling another girls hair. To me this sounds like a decent excuse to get hauled off in a squad car. In a related note, Laila Ali was seen hanging around the police station in hopes to recruit a future world class contender.


Scholastic Accused of Misusing Book Clubs



Scholastic holds book fairs and sends flyers home all the time. Parents send their kids to school with money for newest Goosebumps book, and they come home with battery-operated toys. Do you see where some people might be upset? On average, 1/3 of the merchandise they sell is NOT a book. While parents are hoping their child is going to be enaged in reading, it instead feels like a shopping spree at Toys-R-Us. In other words, kids would rather play with their favorite heroes, not read about them...and Scholastic has been able to capitalize on that for over a decade.


A Colorado school district does away with grade levels



Interesting concept. The students will no longer be placed in a k-12 grade level. Instead they will create their own lessons, and once they are comfortable with the material, they advance. I suppose the only downside is that when a child moves to a new town, the parent will have no clue what grade to place him/her in. That, and the fact we all know there will be 12-year olds still stuck grinding their wheels at a 3rd grade competency.


Teen Charged Lollipops to School Account

Story: Teen Ordered Lollipops In School's Name


Investigators are trying to find out how the ex-student had access to the charge account number to place the order. We are trying to figure out what an 18-year old planned on doing with $27,000 worth of candy! After he and his 100,000 lollipops are placed on house arrest, we can only hope he lives close to a dentist. Unless Willy Wonka plans to bail him out.


Are Schools Inflating Grades?


Basically, Atlanta students can't pass any tests, but they all have awesome grades on their report cards. Rather than waste time playing detective, let DetentionSlip spell it out. Yes, schools are inflating grades. That way they can increase their graduation rates, and not been seen as one of the worst school districts to attend. It's simple. Coincidentally, these are also the same students that will be dropping out of their first semester at college.



Parents humiliate teen over grades

Story: Chesapeake parents take stand over teen's grades

The picture describes it all. His parents made him stand at an intersection with signs broadcasting his grades. The good news- He has an 'A' in gym. The confusing news- Does anywhere else in the country use 'E' for a letter grade? If you drive down the road a little, you will find his mom and dad with similar signs reading "I Have No Idea How To Raise A Child."


Parent arrested for drug use during school field trip

Story: Police arrest parent for drug use during school field trip

Going on a field trip with your kid is a good way to break up a stressful work week, and also feel more involved in your childs academics. It's also a great way to be exposed as a meth addict. Aside from the arrest, he will most likely face an additional 100 hours of community service. Tough break for him, because I am guessing the judge won't allow him to help around the classroom.


Boy allegedly forced to use hands to unclog toilet


We have all heard of the book, "Everybody Poops." One principal decided to add his own humorous twist. On a more positive note, if he keeps up antics like this, he might be able to eliminate a custodial position, and save a little on his budget.


Teen student left in the cold after being suspended

Story: LINCOLN PARK: Teen student left in the cold after being suspended

Basically, the school was tired with dealing with his antics while inside, so putting him in 15 degrees below might teach him a lesson about respect. Based on his track record, it seems this school might not be the perfect fit for him, but without a sub-zero winter jacket and a caring mother, what are his other options?


School board president quits in wake of sting

Story: School board president quits in wake of sting

At least we know that the education budget isn't directly going to solicite hookers. We just know the people in charge of calling the shots in our schools happen to have prostitution addictions. This is a perfect way to embarass your family and community, but not the best way to get laid.


Teacher's Husband Accused Of Stealing From School



The teacher was a music instructor, and her husband has somehow acquired over $55,000 worth of instruments. He wasn't caught until he was seen around town with his own personal marching band.


Boy (10) found hanging from coat hook at school

Story: Boy (10) found hanging from coat hook at school

I'd like to think it's not normal for 10-year olds to have thoughts like this. Therefore, I'd like to think that someone noticed this childs abnormal behavior. Furthermore, hopefully someone at least attempted to connect with him. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough this time.


St. Paul teacher under fire for Holocaust joke

Story: St. Paul teacher under fire for Holocaust joke



You're telling me you can't find humor if all the teachers dressed up like Nazi's and treated the students like Jews?! Not sure exactly what inspired this teacher to come up with an idea like this and email it to all her co-workers, but we are guessing it wasn't her good heart. However, we are confident that this gag will be a gem in Hell.


Fifth grader urges his fellow students to 'unite against homework'


Maybe he was on to something when he stated that homework adds stress. But comparing it to slavery? Let's not get ahead of ourselves young man. This is probably why we don't let fifth graders call the shots in education policy.


 
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