Smells Like: books , parents , sex , Virginia
"There are little folds of skin all over the place, you can hardly find it. The little hole underneath is so terribly small that I simply can't imagine how a man can get in there, let alone how a whole baby can get out!"
One parent protested to the above lines, so of course, the book is now off limits. The parent must be against the fact that girls have vaginas.
Smells Like: health , poop , washington , weird
The day finally came when this teacher had to look in a mirror and say to herself, "I sent a bag of poop home with a 5-year old." That's usually when you know you've seen your last days with kids.
Smells Like: California , law , sex , teachers , trouble
Try to spot when this combination becomes a bad idea: Alcohol + condoms + $100 bills + horny teacher + underage student. And to think, this guy still has some supporters. It's a good thing he never got to spend his benny's because he'll need them for his lawyer fees.
Smells Like: harassment , Ohio , teachers
Nothing makes an 11-year-old boy feel more confident in himself than when his teacher introduces him to the class as a new female student named "pigtails." It takes a certain kind of adult to humiliate little kids...it's just a shame that some schools hire them as teachers.
Smells Like: law , lunch , Ohio , pranks , trouble
This is not the first time children have been arrested for a food fight. Throwing spaghetti serves the same hard time as throwing punches in some states. We can only hope that the leader of this cafeteria gang doesn't make accomplices during her suspension...only to terrorize the city with pizza boats and cinnamon sticks.
Smells Like: animals , Georgia , grades , parents , violence , weird
Parenting Tip of the Day: If you're struggling for ideas to ensure that your child grows up to be a serial killer or rapist, have him violently beat his pet hamster to death with a hammer. (Sent in by Lynn Geter, currently serving time in the Meriwether County Jail, Georgia)
Smells Like: health , k12 , research , sex , USA
Between this study and the recent claim about being ambidextrous, is it just me or are we coming up with the most ridiculous excuses for why students aren't learning as fast as they used to? Now anytime a child doesn't achieve their education goals, they can cite research for why they are handicapped. Quite the recipe for success!
Smells Like: expression , parents , sex , Texas
When a motivational speaker opens the assembly by asking the principal to leave the room and requesting that the students don't tell their parents what they hear, you know you're in for a treat. And now we're left with a middle school full of confused children who have graphic descriptions of how to give and receive oral sex on their mind. Maybe in the future it would be a wise idea to screen 'sex talk' guests rather than invite any horny board member who volunteers?
Smells Like: k12 , research , USA
"A new study suggests ambidextrous children are also more likely to struggle in school, have difficulties with language and have hyperactivity disorder syndromes." However it should be noted that the entire research team is made up of less-versatile men and women who were picked on as youth for their lack of dexterity.
Smells Like: 1st amendment , books , California , library , protest , sex
It's official! The day has finally come when children can't even use a dictionary as a resource. One parent dug through it and found a sexual term, now the whole school is left unable to look up definitions. I can already hear the laughter of education critics from every other country in the world.
Smells Like: safety , Texas , tragedy
It has to be a wake up call when fourth graders commit suicide in between classes. I'd be interested in hearing if the guidance counselor position was cut from this school.
Smells Like: bombs , Colorado , panic , safety , weird
School was on lock down and bomb squads were called out to investigate a bag in the parking lot that contained a Kermit the Frog doll. Authorities are searching for a suspect with curly blond hair, wearing a red dress, and described as having a "pig-like" nose.
Smells Like: attendance , law , rights , technology , Texas
This is not the first time Texas decided that the best way to curb tardiness was to strap its students with GPS devices. The idea might work, but I suggest they invest in teleportation to make it easier for children to warp to school.
Smells Like: canada , policy , protest , recess , safety , sports
POP QUIZ: By banning all balls from the playground, this is part of a master plan to __________ .
A. Make recess as boring as possible
B. Limit physical mobility and hinder hand-eye coordination among students
C. Ensure that Canadian children never develop an interest any sport besides hockey
Smells Like: drugs , health , idiocy , Massachusetts , nurse , safety
There is nothing better for your immune system than getting a healthy dose of insulin. Maybe the nurse figured the teachers were at greater risk for diabetes than swine flu? Hopefully next time she goes digging in the medicine cabinet she can see if her nursing credentials are in there somewhere.
Smells Like: pranks , Texas , trouble , yearbook
I am sure this stunt has been pulled before, but it doesn't take a genius to spend a few seconds reviewing the picture before it goes out to print for close to 700 seniors. Afterall, the giant letters A-S-S happen to be right in the front row! All three students are suffering consequences, but as one senior points out, "...C and L ran off. That’s not ass’s fault. That’s C and L’s fault." I guess he was wrong to assume the school would act fairly about this.
Smells Like: bus , drugs , drunk , law , Pennsylvania , safety
If school field trips don't include liquor store visits, you have to take matters into your own hands. Plus, sometimes the weekend doesn't come soon enough.
Smells Like: bus , Florida , safety , weird
Story: Intruder climbs 2 buses
Story: Intruder climbs 2 buses
No word yet why a 27-year old man would be interested in climbing a loaded school bus and boarding it through the vent on the roof, but it certainly seems like an inefficient way to get around town.
Smells Like: California , guns , policy , protest , safety
Only the NRA would be able to justify why a teenage boy should be allowed to keep a loaded firearm in his car during school. The student (who is ironically considering a career in law enforcement) has the habit of going duck hunting before class. I imagine it would have been even more interesting to watch the principal react to a trunk full of dead birds.
Smells Like: bombs , California , panic , science
I wonder if they took the time to ask the student if it was a bomb, or just assumed the 11-year concocted an explosive with and empty Pepsi bottle and random wires. But it's now 2010, and we have to start screening every petri dish and homemade volcano that comes through the front doors.
Smells Like: California , principal , safety , violence
Maybe this is why so many schools are afraid to confront children with behavior problems. I guess it's easier to suspend someone than risk getting involved in a good old fashioned knife fight.
Smells Like: health , idiocy , Illinois , safety
I am trying to think of a good reason why live taser demonstrations are a good tool to invite into classrooms. I wonder how many students are curious what a bullet feels like too? It must be tough as a parent when you're expecting your child to bring home a good report card, but instead they have burn wounds from electrical shocks.
Smells Like: Arkansas , safety , teachers , violence
After the teacher was done with the salad, the bean bags, and the turtle, tossing a student seemed like the next best option. If only we could graduate children as well as we can toss them.
Smells Like: North Carolina , safety , teachers , violence
I always thought after-school fights are between students. But I guess when you really have a bone to pick, what better place and time?
Smells Like: dance , Maine , policy , sex
You know it's a dangerous sign of the times when small towns in Maine are having problems with students 'grinding' at dances. If you're unfamiliar with this style of dance, let's allow the principal from this school to explain- it "...generally involves a boy grinding his crotch into a girl’s behind." Well said. Until he gets Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers to perform, I don't think he will soon get his wish of students dancing while standing at arms length apart.
Smells Like: parents , Pennsylvania , sports
The school has a sure fire plan to increase the popularity of its basketball team: To only allow parents of the players to attend the games. Way to make high school fun! I wonder if any colleges or pro teams will be adopting this model if the team starts a winning streak?
Smells Like: Colorado , lunch , racism
Oh my goodness. Not only do they have to attend class on Martin Luther King Day, but to honor civil rights and black history, the school decided to put the following items on the lunch menu: southern-style chicken with biscuit, collard greens, sweet potatoes and peach crisp. I never knew that promoting racial stereotypes was a priority in Denver. I am just surprised that watermelons aren't being served.
Smells Like: New York , principal , sex , trouble
Of all the things a principal should "seek" from students, you would hope that blow jobs never make that list. The education system sure has a knack for exposing pedophiles and allowing them to shine their true colors.
Smells Like: health , idiocy , parents , safety , Texas
When the mother dropped off her 5 and 7 year olds at school, she must not have noticed that the parking lot was abandoned and the entire city was covered in ice. Sometimes getting to work on time is more important than caring if your kids die of hypothermia.
Smells Like: Massachusetts , rights , teachers
It must be hard to teach the English languange when you don't fully grasp it yourself. But at some point this school decided to hire this teacher whose proficiency has been described as "utterly incomprehensible." Now tempers are flaring on both sides of the debate because she was fired and plans to sue the school for over $1 million. That will buy a lot of English speaking courses.
Smells Like: Rhode Island , safety , tragedy , weird
Probably the most interesting part of this story, is that fact this same boy has already attempted to jump from this same roof in a separate incident. This brings up the burning question- Why is it so easy to climb on to high school rooftops? Maybe somebody should have kept an eye on him after the first try?
Smells Like: drugs , health , teachers , Tennessee , theft
Nothing like raiding the cabinets for childrens meds. The teacher was caught because he was reported as being "extra-attentive" in class.
Smells Like: alcohol , bus , drunk , New York , safety
The excerpts from the news article sum up the event well: "Surveillance Video Shows 3 Dozen Terrified Kids Begging 55-Year-Old Martha Thompson To Stop The Bus" and "The bus hit high speeds, ran over a mailbox and started rolling backwards downhill." I think a lot of college students can relate to this experience, you just never expect little kids to be passengers in a nightmare ride like this.
Smells Like: creativity , dress code , Michigan , trouble
The War on Terror has now seeped into teenager dress code pranks. No word yet on how many troops Obama plans to deploy to the hallways of American high schools.
Smells Like: bus , idiocy , Pennsylvania , safety
The first grade boy, who probably hasn't quite yet reached a mature level of responsibilty, was found wandering around the terminal after falling asleep on the bus. I assume that's why they ask drivers to check the bus after their last stop. Just another case of a school failing to meet the "No Child Left Behind" expectations.
Smells Like: books , christians , New York , teachers , trouble
It should not come as a shock that you cannot 1) Make a profit off kids by selling them stuff or 2) Peddle books about the Devil in school. I guess sometimes you have to learn the hard way.
Smells Like: Pennsylvania , principal , safety
It was an accident, but we couldn't help to note the irony.
Smells Like: corporal punishment , harassment , teachers , Texas , trouble
Why waste the time and money of sending teachers to training workshops when all of your discipline tricks can be bought at Home Depot?
Smells Like: budget , bus , Ohio , safety
In November, voters decided in favor of budget cuts that would reduce spending on school buses. Now less than two months later, the children of the parents who may or may not have voted are now forced to find another option. Basically, this affects ALL high school students and anyone who lives within two miles of the school. So yes, kindergarteners might have to walk a mile and a half to school. For a 15-year old with working parents and no friends, that hike might be longer. Isn't it great how convenient getting a public education has become?
Smells Like: guns , Idaho , sex , teachers , tragedy , violence
After learning that his wife was having an affair with some 'bad boy' who steals cars, he reacted like anyone who can't think clearly...by following her to a WalMart parking lot and shooting the boyfriend in the head. The wife is also a teacher, but somthing tells me she won't be in the classroom anytime soon. Oh, she'll probably think twice about cheating again too.
Smells Like: law , Massachusetts , New Hampshire , teachers , theft
I always thought that teachers get paid during their breaks. Evidently it wasn't enough for this guy to buy all his Christmas presents this year. I just hope he doesn't ask his students what they did over the holidays.