Tenn. bus driver accused of DUI with kids aboard

Story: Tenn. bus driver accused of DUI with kids aboard

Another case of a loaded bus with a loaded driver. While she was dreaming of sugar plums and daisy fields, students aboard this bus were trying to figure out why they were stopped in the middle of the road for several minutes. Maybe next time we should heed warning when kids have to kick through empty cans of Miller High Life just to get through the isles.

Drunk mom fights another mom in school cafeteria

Story: Mom charged with hitting other mom in school lunchroom

The Octagon has nothing compared to an elementary school cafeteria. I am guessing it doesn't traumatize your child either when you go into a drunken rage and start bashing another moms face in front of the entire lunchroom. Aside from the potential to break a nail, the only down-side to acting like this is trespassing on school grounds, disorderly intoxication, disrupting an assembly, battery striking or touching, two charges of battery on a law enforcement officer and obstructing or opposing an officer. Not bad for an afternoon.

Girls in trouble for "I Kissed a Girl" song

Story: Twirlers Disciplined Over Suggestive Song At Pep Rally

Here's the thing, the girls didn't actually write, produce, or sing the song. Nothing in the article indicates that there were actually any girls kissing each other either. Do schools freak out every time Queen plays at a Pep Rally because of the threat of kicking people and throwing mud in their face? This is high school, I am pretty sure most teens have access to all kinds of music. The school is allegedly trying to ban the song from the radio and MTV as well.

Man with Gun Arrested inside Elementary School

Story: Man with Gun Arrested inside Dallas Elementary School

All he wanted to do was kill his ex-wife and child. Isn't the inside of an elementary school usually the best setting to resolve a domestic dispute? Well, luckily no one was hurt, including him. Because remember, Texas is the state that wants to advocate guns for teachers.

Teacher accused of assaulting 10-year old student

Story: Richford elementary teacher accused of assaulting student

Aside from grabbing the girls neck and putting a bucket on her head while banging it, the teacher bent her glasses in the process. You come to expect some things from short-fused, impatient teachers, but breaking a pair of glasses...that's just mean! The little girl is expected to emotionally heal, but is insisting on Lasik surgery before she feels safe returning to school.

Cheerleaders win right to wear short skirts

Story: Sequoia High cheerleaders win right to wear banned short skirts

They fought and cheered hard and are now able to wear their short-skirted outfits...but only on game day. Young boys and pervert teachers rejoiced at the news of this announcement. But it raises a good question, does that mean when the football or basketball team has a game, that everyone is allowed to break dress code? Well, at $800 an outfit, let's hope they're only budgeting for the cheerleading squad.

Teacher Accused Of Online Sex Chat with Student

Story: Teacher Accused Of Online Sexual Interactions With Student

With all of the dating services, chat rooms, and online singles sites available, you're telling me this guy couldn't find someone his own age? To make it worse...one of his students? These sort of little secrets don't become keep-sakes. Everyone finds out. So maybe next time we can demonstrate a little maturity and responsibility.

Schools suspend 117 who didn't get required shot

Story: Schools suspend 117 students who didn't get required shot

What was known as "the easiest week for sixth grade teachers," will come to an end once the parents of these students realize that schools actually do have some requirements before kids can attend. But it would seem like they are trying hard to keep students out of schools. Maybe the little girl who found the needle at the playground was just trying to immunize everyone with Tdap shots.

150 Students Disciplined, One Arrested For Breaking Dress Code

Story: 150 Students Disciplined, One Arrested After Breaking School Dress Code

Anyone who wore black, red, or white was disciplined. This makes perfect sense to enforce. No sane American can imagine a safe school environment that allows students to wear these threatening colors. Let's remind the readers that this school already made DetentionSlip once for having live WW2 bombs buried under the property. But they have bigger fish to fry by corralling all these trouble-makers and issuing write-ups. We really have our priorities straight.

Iowa college apologizes for offensive typo

Story: Iowa college apologizes for offensive typo

Briefly: A calendar was handed out to 10,000 students and in one February entry, instead of reading "Black History Lunch," it read "Black History Linch." Kind of a big over-sight don't you think? To make up for the mistake they gave everyone a sticker to put over it. Unfortunately you can't really put a sticker over 150 years of racism and unequal rights. Maybe next time they can have some non-white students proofread their publications.

Horrific football hazing case shakes N.M. town

Story: Horrific football hazing case shakes N.M. town

Moms and dads- if you think the biggest fear of your son playing high school football is tearing his ACL or breaking an arm, think again. Players have taking hazing to a whole new level at this school when they sodomized rookies with broomsticks...as the coaches watched! Nothing makes you feel more part of a team than getting raped by a broom handle by your quarterback. Needless to say the coaches have all resigned and everyone is facing charges, but come on...

Students suspended for barbecue in parking lot

Story: Students suspended for barbecue in parking lot

Nothing like some bacon and eggs to start the day off right. They say breakfast is the most important meal, and these students just wanted to make sure they had the necessary energy for a fun-filled day of learning. I am glad the school is really taking a hard look at calorie intake and cracking down on diet habits like this though.

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Girl Finds Needle at Recess and Pokes Classmates

Story: Child Finds Dirty Needle at Recess

It's probably just a harmless meth needle. If you've ever seen a junky shoot up, then you know they're aren't going to leave anything in the syringe. The biggest threat now is just hepatitis or HIV. Maybe the school should reconsider why they are allowing students to use the restroom at a public park. I would say a little common sense could dictate the disadvantages of that. Oh, and also next time try and supervise a little better so the little girl doesn't have the opportunity to stick the needle in half the class.

Teacher arrested in Wal-Mart for drugs, theft

Story: High school teacher arrested in Wal-Mart on drug, theft charges

After Wal-Mart caught her stealing a Tim McGraw CD, some highlighters, and a pair of sunglasses, the real problem arose when she was also found with cocaine and drug paraphernalia on her. All she wanted to do was get wired on some coke, put on her shades (because the lights are freaking her out) and grade some papers while jamming out to Tim McGraw. Isn't this what all teachers do in their spare time?

Boy gets apple pie box crammed in butt on bus

Story: Students arrested in Sebastian River Middle School bus incident

These boys have the scene from American Pie all wrong. Having sex feels like doing a warm apple pie. It's not like having a pie box shoved in your butt by your teammates. But after reading this story, I would rather take a pie box any day over a broom stick. What is the obsession of teenage boys with putting items in their friends butts?

School Bans Boy From Wearing Makeup

Story: School Bans Boy From Wearing Makeup

Since the principal decided that wearing make-up was stereotypically a female thing to do, they deemed it a distraction and inappropriate for this boy to try some on. Schools are without a doubt the source for how young boys and girls are supposed to behave according to gender laws. It is rumored that they also suspend girls for talking about football, since that is supposed to be a guy conversation.

Principal Accused of Pulling Girl's Hair

Story: Principal Accused of Pulling Girl's Hair

Generally the best way to get an 11-year old girl to change her hairstyle that you don't agree with is by yanking at it until your point has been made. Can't she just leave all the hair-pulling to the 11-year old boys that sit behind her in class? Does the principal also flick the back of students ears if she doesn't like their earrings?

Fifth-grader suspended for anti-Obama shirt

Story: Fifth-grader suspended for wearing anti-Obama shirt

After seeing him splash around in the ocean, aren't we all anti Obama wearing a shirt? But the administrators feel, that since the boy is not of legal age to vote, then they should decide his opinions for him. Just another example of our First Amendment hard at work.

Elementary Teacher Accused Of Sex With Teen

Story: Largo Schoolteacher Accused Of Having Sex With Teen

It was less than a day ago when we thought Florida teachers finally got the hint about having sex with minors. Now we learn this lady has been hooking up with a boy half her age for quite some time. To top it off, there is another teacher in the Sunshine State in some trouble right now because he has a habit of telling girls what color underwear they are wearing. Either the heat is starting to get to them or underage students are really, really attractive in Florida.

Students Charged With Assaulting Two Teachers

Story: Two Teachers Assaulted at Howard Middle School

Kids fighting kids. Kids fighting teachers. Siblings fighting more teachers. It was a donnybrook at school today in Tennessee. When they finally broke everything up and got to the bottom of the pile, the play was reviewed and it wasn't even a fumble. Class resumed on schedule in the waiting area of the hospital.

Boy accused of urinating in teacher's cup

Story: Castle Rock boy accused of urinating in teacher's cup

Don't most adults know by now not to leave their drinks exposed around people they can't trust? It's too bad the school doesn't have restrooms easily accessible otherwise he would have been able to properly go to the bathroom instead. Luckily, the teacher did not drink it. In addition, the teacher was fortunate that the boy did not offer a Baby Ruth bar instead.

Boy, 5, abandonded by bus in New York

Story: Boy, 5, dumped by school bus driver in NYC streets

The boy actually lives across the street from the school, and didn't belong on the bus in the first place. So since the driver didn't recognize him anyway, he figured a 5-year old would do just fine for himself being dropped off at the last stop a couple miles from the school. After a day of site-seeing including the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, and Yankee Stadium, the boy decided enough was enough and walked back home.

Teacher accused of hitting, pushing student

Story: Tarpon Springs High teacher accused of hitting student

Florida teachers are taking a breather from having sex with students, but they still can't find restraint form hitting them. High school kids seem to get into fights all the time, so apparently that justifies an excuse for a 44-year old man to bruise up a 10th grader. Had he not been arrested for a third degree felony of child abuse, he was minutes away from challenging the boy to a cage match.

Parents Arrested For Students Skipping School

Story: Parents Arrested For Students Missing School

For the first time in maybe a decade, schools are submitting to the fact that parents have an integral part in raising their children. So much so that they are arresting anyone whose student has more than ten unexcused absences. Filed as "educational neglect," principals are hoping that Johnny Law can help them on their quest to curb skipping school. In a related note, the school also pitched the idea of a $250 fine for every time a student does not complete their homework.

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School bans girls condom display project

Story: School bans contraceptive display

The principal felt that a display using condoms might be offensive to some, and he feared that "the actual packages could fall into the wrong hands." God forbid kids in Texas start having safe sex. This might actually help prevent young girls from throwing their babies away. I want to say that high school is probably a good time to at least consider sex education.

Employee charged in beer for nude teen pics trade

Story: Ex-high school staffer pleads to lesser charge in beer-for-nude-pixs case

What's troubling here, is that I didn't know teens were so desperate for beer, that they are willing to take pictures of their genitals for a 50-year old man. Not one of them had a fake ID? Even though the adult is at fault, I believe this classifies the boys as prostitutes. Next thing you know they will be pawning off their moms jewelry for meth money. Just look what this teacher started.

Black worms discovered in school drinking fountain

Story: Black worms discovered in school drinking fountain

This is the stuff nightmares are made of! Imagine going for a drink and worms started coming out of the fountain and crawling into your mouth. The school is allegedly gearing up for the spookiest Halloween season ever. They also have plans to serve monkey brains at lunch and hang elephant fetuses in the lockers.

Parents must join students at football games

Just getting together for some pre-game snacks!

Story: Parents required to join students at game

This is every high school students dream come true. Prior to this, many teens felt awkward and embarrassed to invite their parents to a Friday night game. Now, because of this new policy, families can come together and root, root, root for their hometeam. I am sure mom and dads will enthusiastically welcome the opportunity to be inconvenienced every weekend. It is also rumored that local teens are also lobbying for a new rule that requires them to have an adult chaperon every time they go to the mall and movies as well.

Teacher Arrested After Terror Plans Found

Story: Substitute Teacher Arrested After Terror Plans Found

When not teaching, this substitute likes to develop military-style takeovers of high schools. Luckily, upon finding the attack plans, the school officials immediately contacted Louis Gossett Jr. and Sean Astin.

14 year old girl leaves newborn in school trash

Let's not throw the baby out with the math homework.

Teen left infant son in garbage bin, police say

It's a good thing that "sex education" is a hot-button in the current presidential campaign. I know we can't expect school nurses to differentiate between the stomach flu and being 9-months pregnant, but maybe next time we can give everyone involved the proper training to avoid girls from throwing out their babies. Luckily, she didn't flush it down a toilet like the Texas girl. But in the future, maybe the school can MapQuest the nearest hospital for these teen girls.

School Bus Crashes Into House After Sleeping Student Startles Driver

Story: School Bus Crashes Into House After Sleeping Student Startles Driver

This story is so ridiculous, it marks only the third time in DetentionSlip history that the actual photo is used to depict the incident. It must be nearly impossible to ask bus drivers to double-check and make sure all students have departed. She must have thought it was a ghost or something to freak out this much. And the young girl must have been pretty confused when she realized that instead of peacefully getting off at her bus stop, she was violentely awoken by crashing into an old lady's house. Again, it's a simple job to do a sweep of the bus before calling it quits for the day.

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Student suspended for job-related box cutter

Story: Tool from teen's job gets him suspended from high school

During a "routine" inspection of every car in the parking lot, security noticed this weapon of mass destruction and immediately issued a 10-day suspension, with possibility for expulsion. I guess that's the price you pay for trying to have some responsibility with a part-time after school job. Although it was later learned that the boy did have intentions of bringing the knife into school and cutting the F--- out of any box he saw.

Texas Student Told Rosary Is 'Gang Symbol'

Story: Texas High School Student Told Rosary Is 'Gang Symbol'

If you haven't heard this story, it seems there are a bunch of Catholic teens going around forgiving people for their sins, offering repentance, and obeying the Ten Commandments. Authorities believe this gang will only offer more harm than peace. Wait a second...wasn't is Texas that approved Bible courses in high school? Let's get our hypocrisies straight before we continue to makes fools of ourselves with inexcusable punishments.

Teacher arrested for exposing himself to teen

Story: Teacher Arrested for Molestation

After cornering a 16-year old girl during a field trip and attempting to have sex, "he continued to masturbate and ejaculate in front of the victim calling her attention to the ejaculate." Hey buddy, this is no way to earn a second date. I wonder if teens are just immune to having at least one creepy teacher during their education years?

Female Student Suspended After Hand Gesture

Story: Female Student Suspended After Hand Gesture Deemed Threat

It's just like the old saying goes, "Guns don't kill people, bullet-less, and trigger-less hands do." Someone saw her pretend to point a gun at a school worker, and next thing you know- four days suspension. If I actually would have shot everyone who I pointed at as a kid, I probably wouldn't have any friends alive today. Whoever invented the term "zero-tolerance" has really made life as a school student challenging.

Teacher accused of showing porn to students

Story: Teacher accused of showing porn on projector

Summary: Teacher uses a video projector for a class lesson. Teacher assigns students in-class assignment. Teacher, forgetting the projector is still on, goes about his merry way watching porn while the class is busy working. Final result: Old man's dirty habits are revealed as a group of students get an unexpected personal pornography viewing session. Maybe we should rethink the idea of introuducing new technologies to old-school teachers?

Dog bites 5 kids at school playground

Story: Dog bites 5 kids at Port Huron school playground

Talk about adding an element of excitement to the old-fashioned game of tag. Was the dog also posing as a school boy and slipped past security? Hopefully this doesn't traumatize too many children into fearing puppies their whole lives. It's too bad the kids couldn't stick around to watch as they more than likely shot it dead upon capture.

Strapped for Cash, Schools Eye Bus Ads

Story: Strapped for Cash, Schools Eye Bus Ads

This is exactly the solution I had in mind to raise some extra cash- compromise a kid's childhood by forcing him/her to be exposed to advertisements on the school bus. As if we didn't get enough commercials in our lives, some people feel that maybe the bus ride in the morning could used spiced up a little. Actually, it's probably one of the few places left in a school setting that hasn't been tagged by advertising. We're only a few years away from every school having a corporate sponsor.

Mom steals daughters ID to be H.S. cheerleader

Story: Mom allegedly used daughter's ID to be cheerleader

They say 30 is the new 16. Pretending to be little kids must be the hottest fad for adults right now. But there is nothing like reliving your glory years. I often say to myself, if I had to do it over again, I would have been a cheerleader in high school. This mom just decided to follow through with that...and steal her daughters identity in the process.

Principal makes girls look at bag of poop

Story: Principal apologizes for poop bag incident

This was how he decided to resolve in issue with the bathrooms being messy. You can imagine parents don't like getting the news that their 4th grade daughter was forced to look at, smell, and touch a bag of human feces and urine. What great disciplinary practices we are applying. He justified it though because he made them wear gloves! It was later learned that this guy just developed a real odd poop fetish after watching Two Girls, One Cup.

Predator, 30, poses as 12-year old boy in school

Story: Sex offender who posed as child pleads guilty

It always puzzled everyone why instead of taking the bus, he drove home everyday in his '93 Toyota Tercel. Unless this guy found the Fountain of Youth, I think he's aiming a little too low. You know you're completely sick when you act as a 12-year old just to get in with other 12-year olds at school. It took two years and no red flags went up that he was twice the students age! There were teachers younger than him! Prior to this he served six years in prison for trying to have sex with a 6-year old, so you know he has his mind together. This might be the first person ever to get a fake ID for YOUNGER than he actually is. My vote for Story of the Year.

Janitor accused of pistol-whipping principal

Story: Oakland school janitor accused of pistol-whipping principal

Haven't we learned anything from Office Space...it's always best to fire people on Fridays to avoid any sort of incident. But I guess some people are just better at taking bad news than others. This employee had a rap sheet of criminal misconduct, and again, these are the kind of people we are letting walk in our schools each day.

High school bans purses in the classroom

Story: High school bans purses in the classroom

The teachers were having a huge problem with the girls bringing their feminine hygiene products to class with them. I assume this new policy also includes handbags and fanny packs as well. It is good to see schools tackling the real issues.

Boy suspended for using broken pencil sharpener

Story: Boy suspended for using broken pencil sharpener

What is more dangerous? A gun or a pencil? A gun has to be concealed. A pencil can inflict major damage to vital organs, causing blindness, severe bleeding or death. Not to mention the damage a pencil can do when in the hands of a student no afraid to write..

From the article:

"We're always going to do something to make sure the child understands the seriousness of having something that could potentially harm another student.."
Top 10 Things That could potentially harm another student:
  1. lose leaf paper (cuts)
  2. email viruses
  3. scissors
  4. hard candy (choking)
  5. iPods (deafness, choking)
  6. knuckles
  7. a banana peel
  8. mats in the wrestling room
  9. Hanna Montana t-shirts
  10. senseless policy enforced mindlessly
Feel free to add more in the comments...

Boy suspended for using broken pencil sharpener

Story: Island fourth grader suspended for using broken pencil sharpener

FACT: Pencil sharpeners are allowed in schools. FACT: All pencil sharpeners have a blade in them. FACT: You cannot write with a broken pencil. THEORY: We are teaching kids that nothing they do is correct, and will face discipline for behaving as normal students. FACT: This could have been avoided by giving every student a laptop.

Two Women Accused of Kidnapping First Grader

Story: Two Women Accused of Kidnapping First Grader

They took the kid to prove a point how unsafe the schools are. Well, you made your case...there are plenty of nut-jobs like yourselves that are willing to kidnap kids from school property. The right thing to do would be bringing him to the front office, but instead they put themselves into a position to be facing criminal charges. But when it's all said and done, maybe they were on to something?

Student Suspended in Peanut Butter Bullying Case

Story: Washington High School Student Suspended in Peanut Butter Bullying Case

Kill them with protein, that's what we always said. But seriously, if you haven't been around kids in a while then it is news to you that tons of them are somehow allergic to peanuts nowadays. So wiping peanut butter on a child with this allergy, is the equivalent to poisoning them with cyanide. Who would have thought lunch time can be the most dangerous place in schools?

Girl raped after driver kicked her off school bus

Story: Lawsuit: Girl raped after driver kicked her off school bus

This is how we handle discipline problems...by forcing kids to walk through rough neighborhoods by themselves. I am guessing these students will think twice now about acting up on the bus. I think it's about time we put bus drivers through a crash course(not literally) training about how to perform their jobs properly. I gonna assume the the protocal for disruptive behavior is NOT emptying the bus out when the driver becomes overwelmed.

High School lockers stuffed with dead animals

Story: Dublin High School lockers stuffed with dead animals

We're going to keep in eye on this school to see what sort of pranks they have up their sleeves all year. Although it does seem a bit grotesque to fill your lockers with decomposing cats and dogs. It was the smell that finally gave it away. It wasn't the swarms of flies or vultures that have been hanging out in the school hallways for over two weeks now.

Teacher gets 7 years for child porn possession

Story: Art teacher gets 7 years for child porn possession

Another one bites the dust. He only had 4,000 images and videos of kiddie porn at home...while he was working around children! After begging to be sent to juvenile detention, the judge thought it would be in everyone's best interest to expose him for the creep he is. And the students were always wondering why he encouraged nude sculpting in class?

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