Show up to school, win a plasma TV

Story: Show up to school, win a plasma TV

Students who attend school in Detroit will be entered into a raffle to win a big screen tv, a laptop, an iPod Nano, and an American Express gift card. Hopefully the children who do not receive prizes will still be the winners of a decent education.

Bristol teacher charged with driving drunk on way to school

Story: Bristol teacher charged with driving drunk on way to school

The teacher lost her job last year because of alcohol-related issues. But due to the forgiving education system, she is back teaching again. So now she was caught drunk on the way to school, which also means she was planning on being drunk in the classroom all day. I guess Bloody Mary's are now part of a balanced breakfast. You can tell she really cares about the safety and well-being of others. And we wonder why some students just can't get ahead academically.

Alligator Removed From Naples Elementary School

Story: 7-foot gator caught at Lake Park Elementary

The gator found at this elementary school today was not Tim Tebow, he is only 6'3''. So if you don't live in Florida and are curious what happens when this state reptile shows up for class... "any alligator bigger than four feet is usually destroyed," according to the article. Wow! I guess sex offenders get off easy (comparatively) when they are caught roaming!

VIDEO: Gang Beats Honor Student to Death

Story: Teen Attacked, Beaten to Death in Melee

A Chicago honor student was beaten to death by gang members wielding wooden boards after school outside Fenger High School. Just one month into the school year, gang violence has flared up several times. This week it came to a head when 16 year old Derrion Albert got caught up in the melee and was beaten to death. Allegedly there were two police officers sitting in a squad car watching the this all take place who claim to have been 'waiting for backup'. Police have yet to identify the person responsible for the murder.

Warning, the video is GRAPHIC.

NY students suspended over raw-meat hazing ritual

Story: NY students suspended over raw-meat hazing ritual

As a tradition, the girls soccer team pelts its freshmen players every year with raw meat. An investigation also discovered that eggs and flour were poured over their heads. The families of the children intend to blame The Iron Chef.

Teacher stole $265k in outdoors gear from other employer

Stealing outdoor gear from a hunting and fishing store and then selling it on eBay seems like a good idea on paper. But wouldn't you think that the owner would have caught on after the first $100,000 worth of goods was stolen?

Obama wants to cut back summer vacations

Story: Obama would curtail summer vacation

Obama is pitching ideas to get rid of the one thing teachers and kids both look forward to every year: summer vacation. Some research suggests that the reason US students are academically behind other developed countries is because we don't spend enough time in the classroom. I argue that it is because our schools have become boring. So what better way to get kids pumped about education than by adding three more months of it! My biggest concern is that without a summer vacation, this greatly compromises everyone's generic yearbook entries.

Teacher makes fourth grader turn Yankees shirt inside out

Story: Baldwinsville family says teacher told fourth-grader to turn Yankee shirt inside out

You don't have to follow baseball to know that the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is one of the most annoying in sports. So when a die-hard Boston fan meets his match with fourth grade Yankees fan (in the state of New York), it's gonna get ugly. Unfortunately for the young boy, he has no say when the teacher forces him to flip his shirt around and hide the Yankee colors. It must be a great feeling to be able to flex your authority over a 9-year old.

Drinking water unsafe at thousands of schools

Story: Drinking water unsafe at thousands of schools

Not only do most schools ban bottled water, they provide students with the luxury of drinking fountain water loaded with pesticides, lead, and other tasty toxins. And I just thought they were gross because kids spit chewed up gum in them! I wonder what else the EPA overlooks in our public schools?

School Students Sing Praises of President Obama

Story: Elementary School Students Taught to Sing Praises of President Obama

In an almost cult-like fashion, a 2nd grade class in New Jersey can be seen on YouTube singing their oath of praise to President Barack Obama. The video was filmed early in the year (well before Obama had a chance to do anything in office), but has just hit the web and started a wildfire of criticism. The school even went into lock down because the Principal was receiving death threats from irate parents. FoxNews will have you believe the teacher was creating a Hitler-like following of young drones, and others say it was just a creative way to congratulate Obama in his recent success of presidency. You be the judge! [Video Here]Italic

Student Upset Over Graphic 9/11 Film

Story: Student Upset Over Graphic 9/11 Film

How else are teens going to learn about different cultures without being forced to watch an actual beheading on video? The teacher showed the anti-Islam film, Fitna, and began desensitizing her students to extreme graphic violence. It's one thing to talk about death, but maybe we should reconsider having viewing parties in high school classrooms. I can only imagine how they teach sex Ed!

Texas Teacher Stabbed to Death by Student in Classroom

Story: Texas Teacher Stabbed to Death by Student in Classroom

Almost ten years ago a Florida student shot and killed his teacher during class. I cannot recall another incident in which only the teacher was victimized, and the suspect remained alive. This will make this senseless act of violence hard to chart. We only hope it wasn't over his grades.

Teacher Spikes Soda With Hot Sauce

Story: Teacher Spikes Soda With Hot Sauce

The only way the kids will learn not to drink Mrs. Tagle's soda is by lacing it with chili peppers. Next time she plans to use cyanide.

Teacher asks, "If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?"

Story: Teacher Disciplined For Unusual Creative Writing Assignment

In an effort to motivate her students to write, she posed the question, "If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth?" We are hoping her class all turned in one-word essays: "No." I am not sure if she was inspired by R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket, or maybe she just has some sort of "Golden Shower" fetish, but one thing is for sure- she obviously comes from a unique and unusual childhood.

"Slut List" rocks top-ranked N.J. school

Story: A Rite of Hazing, Now Out in the Open

Part of being a freshman at Millburn High means you are subject to some senior hazing, as well as the ever-popular Slut List. The principal openly speaks about the fact that his students produce a guide for upperclassman so they know who the freshmen sluts are. The sad thing is, some girls get upset when they don't make the list. In a recent survey, this school ranked #1 in the state. So to all you administrators, take note of how to run a top-notch program.

Wasps Sting Two Dozen Students During Fire Drill

Story: Wasps Sting Two Dozen Students During Fire Drill

While practicing for a fire drill, some students actually had to be taken to the hospital after being attacked by wasps. We are waiting to hear back from the school to see if they have developed a "Bee Drill" yet.

School Bus with Swimmers Plunges into Pond

Story: School Bus with Swimmers Plunges into Pond

A school bus filled with a high school swim team went off the road and dove into a lake. No word yet if this was just part of their training.

Rivals cooperate on touchdown for player with Down syndrome

Story: Rivals cooperate on touchdown for player with Down syndrome

Every once and a while we like to shed some positive light on those who deserve it. True sportsmanship was shown by the players and coaches in a Benton vs. Maryville high school football game when they let a player score and avoid a shut out victory. The winning team allowed Matt Ziesel, a freshman with down syndrome to rush in for a touchdown during the closing minutes of the game. It has left an impact on the community and reminded many that sometimes it's not always about winning.

School Bans Hooded Sweatshirts To Corral Cell Phone Use

Story: School Bans Hooded Sweatshirts To Corral Cell Phone Use

Hooded sweatshirts are allowing students to stay warm, comfortable, and text on their cell phones inside the pockets. I hope the school realizes that even after banning hoodies, kids will be ready with a new technique to access their phones. One teen points out that students don't even need to look at their phones because they all memorize the keyboard. As impressive that may sound to most adults, that skill directly reflects the technological and digital mindset of our youth. It should be a wake-up call that we need to invite certain technologies into the classroom, rather than fear them. A silly hooded sweatshirt ban is only a quick fix to avoid the issue.

Carl Hayden snaps 66-game losing streak

Story: Carl Hayden snaps 66-game losing streak

It's been around seven years since this high school football team has been able to muster up a victory. If they can pull one out again next week, some might consider that a winning streak. By the way it sounds like the town is celebrating, I wouldn't be surprised if they lifted the drinking age over the weekend to allow kids to party. But it's really gotta suck to be the other team!

Dad slugs dad at school open house

Story: Father Slugs Man at School Event

What better place to settle a rivalry than at school in front of teachers and peers. Authorities are still investigating if the assailant was after the man's lunch money.

(Note: We would love for the teacher of this class to email us periodically to let us know how your parent-teacher conferences go!)

Ax-Wielding Attacker Wounds 9 Students at German high school

Story: Teenage Attacker Wounds 9 School Students in Germany

If you didn't know, school violence is a little different in the Deutschland. I wonder if the teen had plans to launch balls of fire from a nearby catapult as well. I am guessing the attack ended when the boys' arms got tired of swinging an ax at people.

North Rowan HS Teacher Charged With Having Sex With Students

Story: North Rowan HS Teacher Charged With Having Sex With Students

This guy was cleaning house at his high school. He had sex with three girls (all under 18) over the last year. If only he was 10 years younger he might be able to get some respect. Now all he is seen as is a creepy pedophile who corrupts minors. The good news is that all these high schools girls are back on the market.

Somerville kindergartener walks out of school unnoticed

Story: Somerville kindergartener walks out of school unnoticed

A little young to be cutting class don't you think? Apparently there is no one around to raise a red flag when they see a 5-year old walking in the opposite direction of the school. Just wait til he gets his drivers license!

Fox Lake teacher paid students with drugs, alcohol

Story: Fox Lake teacher paid students with drugs, alcohol

The teacher was going to let some 14-year old girls learn the value of a hard-earned-dollar by giving them some chores to do around her house. But instead of paying them with cash, she thought they would benefit better with weed, booze, and prescription pills. Do you have to claim illegal substances on your year-end tax earnings?

Teens Admit to Sex on School Bus

Story: Teens Admit to Sex on School Bus

School officials were scratching their heads trying to figure out how this could happen when there were four adults on the bus. With minimal research, DetentionSlip offers this theory: When was the last time a coach sat in the back of the bus? It's basically 'anything goes' back there.

Guns, Knives, and Fists: Rising trend in school?

About 6 months ago we did a report about school safety. After reading these recent headlines, we're starting to wonder if we should have bitten our tongue. Are teens becoming more violent in school? Or do they just not fear consequences? Check out these stories and decide:

Story: Pregnant NC teen fatally shot at school bus stop

Story: Student killed in fight at Florida school

Story: Dispute over seat sparked attack on school bus

Boy fakes kidnapping to hide bad report card

Story: Boy fakes kidnapping to shed bad report card

The 11-year old boy developed a story in which he was forced to get into a strange car, held at gunpoint, then jumped from the moving vehicle and ran to his grandparents house. It was learned he just didn't want to bring home his bad report card. You see the stress we are giving these young kids?! By the way, I wonder how many kidnappers have the habit of holding report cards hostage. So as a parent, are you more upset about the poor grades or the falsifying of a police report?

Pledge of Confusion? Schools Wrestle With Flag Policy in Classroom

Story: Pledge of Confusion? Schools Wrestle With Flag Policy in Classroom

The debate is on again of whether or not we should force children to stand up and recite and age-old poem about our flag to start each school morning. The new twist that some groups are advocating would require teachers to inform the students that they have the right to remain silent, and not pledge. Am I the only one that think getting rid of this tradition altogether would solve a lot of problems? Plus, it would give teachers an extra couple minutes of instruction time each day!

After uproar over Obama speech, Texas school leader cancels Bush field trip

Story: Texas school leader cancels Bush field trip

If you're looking for a fair and balanced education, you might want to reconsider the Lone Star state. Last week, the school did not allow its students to watch Obama's speech. However, they did have a field trip booked for 600 children to hear George W. Bush speak at Cowboys stadium. After realizing the actions make the school look like complete idiots, the decision was made to cancel the trip. God Bless Texas.

Area schools may soon sell naming rights

Story: Area schools may soon sell naming rights

How do you dig yourself out of a budget crisis? You sell out. Businesses can start the bidding because some Florida schools are going to start advertising on buildings, hallways, uniforms, Web sites, printed handouts and more! Everything in the school will be sponsored by something. Get ready for your children to come home everyday and inexplicably want to consume more products!

MIT Students Explain How to Photograph Space for $150

Actual photo taken by students for less than $150!

STORY: MIT Students Explain How to Photograph Space for $150

Some MIT students rigged up a used digital camera, weather balloon, cell phone and Styrofoam beer cooler to take photos of outer space. Amazing. The total cost was $148 and didn't require any special hacking of the components -- this would be an amazing science class or art / photography project for a class or independent student. Of course, if the gov keeps cutting NASA spending, this might be the only way the current generation sees outer space. Next up, turn some toilet paper rolls, a pack of jumbo sparklers and a gold fish bowl into a space ship.

Free prize from DETENTIONSLIP to any teacher / parent who does this with their student. Write DETENTIONSLIP.ORG in big letters on the balloon, and send photos to -- we will feature it on the site.

Lafayette middle school discourages jelly bracelets, citing sexual meanings

Story: Lafayette middle school discourages jelly bracelets, citing sexual meanings

If girls wear one of theses bracelets, it means they are willing to perform certain acts. Below is a description of what each color means. (As a note: This is EXACTLY what the description says. NO girl of any age has EVER worn a jelly bracelet unless she has performed the following. These are the facts, and they cannot be disputed.) Have fun and happy parenting!

Black - will have regular "missionary" sex
Blue - indicates oral sex performed on a guy
Clear - indicates a willingness to do anything the snapper wants
Green - indicates that oral sex can be performed on a girl
Glittery Blue - willing to perform anal sex
Glittery Clear - will let the snappee "feel up" or touch any body part
Glittery Green - willing to "69"
Glittery Pink - willing to "flash" a body part
Glittery Purple - willing to French kiss
Glittery Yellow - indicates kissing and hugging is acceptable
Yellow - willing to hug
Pink - willing to give a hickey
Orange - willing to kiss
Purple - willing to kiss a partner of either sex
Red - willing to perform a lap dance
White - will flash what they have

Teen accused of threatening teacher to get 'A++'

Story: Teen accused of threatening teacher to get 'A++'

Not everybody is academic material. Sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself to study. However, I am not sure that threatening to rape and kill your teacher and her family if she does not change your grades to all A's is the best solution. I wonder how this boy does on first dates?

5 girls killed in Delhi school stampede

Story: 5 girls killed in Delhi school stampede

It's not what you think. They weren't run over by bulls. This is what happens when over-population meets narrow staircases in local schools. Apparently it is so dangerous to travel from class to class in parts of India that you run the risk of being caught in a stampede of students. Just our occasional reminder to the readers that maybe schools in India have it a little worse.

Education Spending Doubled, Test Scores Stagnant

STORY: Education Spending Doubled, Stagnant Test Scores

"Since 1970, inflation adjusted public school spending has more than doubled. Over the same period, achievement of students at the end of high school has stagnated according to the Department of Education’s own long term National Assessment of Educational Progress (see chart above). Meanwhile, the high school graduation rate has declined by 4 or 5%, according to Nobel laureate economist James Heckman."
Thoughts on this?

Sex Offender Caught Roaming School With Gun

Story: Sex Offender Caught Roaming School With Gun

Schools are safer than ever. That's how this man, who is a convicted sexual predator (he kidnapped and raped a boy ten years ago), has been able to walk around a Florida elementary school all week with a gun. A concerned parent finally identified him and reported it. Maybe the front doors blew off in a hurricane and some schools are just an open playground for the public to roam around in. Otherwise someone would have stopped him sooner, right?

Team Photo Lands Football Players In Trouble

Story: Team Photo Lands Football Players In Trouble

While posing for a team photo, a bunch of the players made "inappropriate sexual hand gestures." This pic gets distributed by parents and booster clubs all around town. Then local businesses hang it up to promote the team. Apparently no where in this process does a responsible adult ever take them time to review the final photo to make sure it's good to go. And for that, the kids win (even though they are being forced to miss a game).

Body parts are found near Antelope Valley school

Story: Body parts are found near Antelope Valley school

A severed hand and a torso were found near the school. Authorities are on the lookout a white male, age 35-45, about 6-feet tall, missing one hand, and whose legs don't join to his chest.

Daytona principal charged with DUI

Story: Daytona principal charged with DUI

What does a principal do after crashing his car on a Monday night, then gets arrested for driving under the influence, careless driving, and resisting arrest? He takes a day off then goes back to work on Wednesday. Making $85,000/year, you gotta wonder how bad his job actually is if he needs to get that hammered on a school night! Talk about a bad case of the Monday's.

5 teens attack, injure Muslim girl on school bus in Ann Arbor

Story: 5 teens attack, injure Muslim girl on school bus in Ann Arbor

I am assuming the 16-year old girl was posing some sort of a threat to the five students who beat her, dragged her, and ripped off her scarf. Why else would they feel compelled to act like this? I guess high school students don't have a clear understanding about what it means to be convicted of a hate crime. That's probably because it's not on the standardized tests.

Teacher Arrested after Juvenile Overdoses

Story: Teacher Arrested after Juvenile Overdoses

This woman was an elementary school teacher, and her job status is currently being reviewed. I wonder how many parents will be in favor of reinstating a teacher that lets minors come to her house for wild drug overdose parties?

School gets rid of ALL books in library

Story: Welcome to the library. Say goodbye to the books.

In an effort to prepare for the digital age, the school is clearing out the entire library to create a technology center. Some say it will be easier for the students to adapt to and learn in this environment, while critics argue that the value of books cannot be replaced by computers. Well, after reading the article, I am sure there is one thing that everyone can agree on- the $50,000 coffee shop is the best practical use of their budget.

Drunk mom drives son to school

Story: Drunken Mom Drives With Son

I guess her idea of a well-balanced breakfast includes a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Wild Turkey.

VIDEO: President Obama's Message for America's Students

The "controversial" speech from President Obama to the school kids of the USA.

What do you think? Marxist Propaganda or a good message for our students?

SHOCK! Obama Speech Leaked!!!

SOURCE: Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama Back to School Event

In a shocking discovery, parents across the nation rushed to make plans to pull students out of school tomorrow when President Obama will give his address from a school in Virginia while it is simulcast to schools nationwide. The whitehouse (actually as promised) leaked the speech IN FULL TEXT 24 hours before Obama was to go live.

We had suspected he would use this as a platform to spew his socialist ideals, and we were right! LOOK at some of these gems we found, CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE!
"being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try."
How dare he tell our children that success is hard work!
"You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy. "
Encouraging them to find a cure for AIDS and to build new companies -- all part of his Marxist worldview.

Of course, he really SHOULD have left the god talk out -- why do you need to sign off with "God Bless America"?

~ God Bless You America, and God Bless

Fake nurse examines students at Mid-South high school

Story: Fake nurse examines students at Mid-South high school

Everyone is trying to figure out how a woman who posed as a nurse was allowed into the school and proceeded to give almost 100 students physicals. If a fake costume is all you need to breach security, then this school is gonna have a nightmare on their hands when Halloween comes.

Grandmother charged with making bomb threat to school

STORY: Texas grandmother charged with making bomb threat to grandchildren's school

What do you do when you don't have permission from your daughter to visit your grandkid? Easy as washin' dentures -- just phone in a bomb threat. Kudos to 51 year old Velma Gladys Brewster for sending over 700 students and staff home on evacuation! Do they have Wheel of Fortune as Guantanamo Bay?

Kentucky school trip included baptisms

Image Courtesy: The Brick Testament

STORY: Kentucky school trip included baptisms

A Kentucky Football coach rounded up the players and took 'em to church where something like 10 of them ended up being baptized. Nothing screams separation of church and state like bringing the boys out to be indoctorinated into a 1st century salvation cult.

Some Parents Choose Not to Allow Their Kids to Hear Obama's National Address

President Obama will be giving an online speech to students across the country next week. Some parents are deciding that they don't want their children to be part of history and sit the event out. A primary objective of the Obama campaign was reaching out to people everywhere. He is now our leader and has been able to inspire more citizens than any president in recent decades. Old, white republicans are gonna have to get over that fact and let their 8-year old kids make up their own minds about watching the president speak. For goodness sake, if the guy can convince a few more students to stay in school and start caring about their education, give him a chance.

Beaver Dam middle school to try same-sex classes

The principal hopes that seperating boys and girls will improve test scores. "Supporters say boys and girls learn differently, and they do better when they're surrounded with students who act and think as they do." This sounds like a perfect way to get them adapted to the real world, where men and women do not work together. I wonder if they plan to paint the different rooms pink and blue?

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