Teacher Accused of Allowing Fight Not Fired

Story: Colorado Teacher Accused of Encouraging Student Attack Likely Won't Get Fired or Face Charges

Parents have got to love the news that teachers can provoke fights and allow children to retaliate by using physical violence. I heard that since this teacher was left off the hook, other faculty are now coming up with clever ways to instigate school fights. It was rumored that some teachers are spray-painting threats on students lockers and slashing their car tires in the parking lot.

Judge rules in favor of gay high school club

Story: Judge rules gay club can meet at Okeechobee high school

Prior to this, the school was acting under the logic that "It's wrong to be gay." They shot themselves in the foot when they later realized that the homosexual lifestyle has been generally accepted in society for quite some time now. The judge also ruled that the principal can no longer refer to the organizers of this club as "queers."

Texas schools will force dress code violators to wear blue jumpsuits

Story: School district will force dress-code violators to wear blue jumpsuits

The plan is to make students wear the jumpsuits all day if they arrive in school out of dress code. To adults, this idea seems to make sense. They think it will humiliate kids by forcing them to shape up and dress appropriately. What these adults didn't factor in, was the students are clever and love the idea of "organized chaos." I PROMISE you, on day one of school, nearly 2/3 of the student body will intentionally arrive out of dress code, forcing the administration to realize they don't have enough jump suits. Those who are "lucky" enough to wear one will think it's cool and it will almost become trendy. This pattern will continue every single day until the policy is changed. I PROMISE you.

Chicago students urged to skip first day of school

Story: Chicago students urged to skip first day, try to enroll elsewhere

To put it simply: they want the black students to skip school to prove a point that the white school gets more funding. Nothing will probably come of this except for better parking spaces the first day of school. However, this story (and the previous) show a growing concern that the general population is unsatisfied with the education system. Hopefully, dumb stunts like this will pop up all over the country until the problems are fixed.

Parent, Teacher, Principal Walk 109 Miles To Speak To Governor

Story: SF Parent, Teacher, Principal Walk 109 Miles To Speak To Governor

109 miles huh? Cell phones not working that day? Car broke down? Newsflash! Most of the country is unhappy about budget cuts in education. It was later rumored that after the long hike, the trio was so dehydrated and exhausted that they forgot why they started walking to begin with.

Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

Story: Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

According to reports, he told students not to be gay, and then held assemblies preaching about why it is wrong. His initial punishment? Now he teaches American Government instead. Hopefully during his course lesson plans, he'll come across the history of hate speech, and maybe even some civil cases about human rights.

Hurt by gas prices, Calif. schools cut bus service

Story: Hurt by gas prices, Calif. schools cut bus service

In a related story, it is projected that the leading cause of death among teens in California during the next school year will be pedestrians getting hit by vehicles. Well either way, better save up now and get some comfortable shoes.

Boy, 12, Arrested In Elementary School Arson

Story: Boy, 12, Arrested In Elementary School Arson

Hey buddy, I'm thinking there's better ways to get revenge on your teachers. The irony is he most likely lit the school on fire in hopes that he wouldn't have to go back there in the Fall, but now he'll probably end up in some Juvenile Center. But is that worse?

Teacher Accused Of Distributing Child Porn

Story: Veteran Teacher Accused Of Distributing Child Porn

We are gonna keep singing this song until the problem is solved. Can't this guy find a different hobby? Like collecting baseball cards or something. Or even just regular porn. There is absolutely no reason for adults, ESPECIALLY TEACHERS, to be messing around with kiddie porn.

School bans fake tanning

Story: School bans fake tan

From the school, "We ask for your support in ensuring your girls do not come to school looking varying shades of orange." I mean, even though we all might agree that it looks ridiculous, is it really within a schools rights to prohibit girls (and boys perhaps) from looking gross? Kids have done dumb things to their bodies forever, that's part of being a teen. Don't worry, they will look at pictures twenty years from now and be completely embarrassed.

Georgia schools say "Spank Away!"

Story: Spare the Rod or Swing the Paddle: How to Punish Students

Alright! Now we're getting somewhere. Where does this fit into the argument about who should raise children? Parents or teachers? Corporal Punishment is actually encouraged in these Georgia schools. Kids can finally relate to their parents/grandparents stories about being slapped on the hand with a ruler when they come home with cat-o-nine tails lacerations across their backs. But for the record...teacher and principals are allowed to demonstrate acts of violence for disobedience, but students still get arrested for fighting, right?

Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

Story: Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

I didn't even know parents were allowed to spank kids anymore without getting a knock on the door from Child Services! I'm surprised we didn't get a story sooner about kids going home with huge welts on their thighs from ping pong paddles. Seeing as how trained law enforcement has a problem justifying when to use a taser, I would hate to hear some principals excuses for slapping a 9-year old.

Principal charged with raping student at school

Story: Arlington Principal charged with raping student at school

This guy bought her a private cell phone, and prepared a secret room in the school for him and the 14-year old girl to drink rum and have sex. And somehow, DetentionSlip gets a bad rap for reporting these stories. We should all learn a lesson here: If you're ever planning on becoming a principal, try your best not to add one count of third-degree rape to your resume.

Schools eye four-day week to cut fuel costs

Story: Schools eye four-day week to cut fuel costs

We've covered this story before [here], but it seems like eliminating a school day is the latest hot button sweeping the education world. It only lends itself to logic that less schooling will make children smarter. If this trend catches on like wildfire, before you know it this will be the last generation that the parents are less educated than their kids. I say we think pro actively, and just go right to three 10-hour school days per week.

Teen Sues Teacher for Calling Her Ugly

Story: Teen Sues Teacher for Calling Her Ugly

Well, was she ugly? But then the teacher follows this up by 'kicking' her out of the classroom. Don't teens have it hard enough dealing with other classmates? We don't need teachers getting involved in name-calling and bullying. It was also rumored that the teacher beat the girl up for her lunch money.

Teacher sentenced for giving students Vicodin

Story: Oregon teacher sentenced for giving kids painkillers

I am sure every Oregon mom out there can sleep a little safer now that this pill pusher is behind bars. It's a shame when teachers are the drug kingpins of the school. She eventually got caught when kids starting going home with broken fingers because they couldn't make payments on time. Oddly enough though, their grades were never affected, just their image of responsible adults was.

Teacher Arrested Again For Sex With Student

Story: L.I. Teacher Arrested Again For Sex With Student

I guess the stove wasn't hot enough the first time she touched it. I mean, Good God lady! Five counts of statutory rape aren't enough to stop you from going back? Please do yourself a favor- get loaded up on wine one night during dinner and hang around the bars near the local community college. They should have what you're looking for. In the meantime, let this kid at least get his drivers license first, so he can make out with girls his own age behind Best Buy after it closes at night.

School failure harder on girls than boys

Story: School failure harder on girls than boys

I think this was based on a previous study that determined "everything is emotionally harder on girls than boys." The research basically states that when girls fail or get in trouble in school, they are more likely to become depressed. Really!!! That's what ice cream, malls, and Sex and the City are for. I am glad we are wasting money to get to the bottom of this pressing issue in education.

Man's body found behind NY school

"You kids wanna see a dead body?"

Man's body found behind NY Putnam County school

I could think of better things to run over while I'm playing a summer pick-up game of kickball with my neighborhood friends. I hope this guy wasn't an over-worked teacher who stressed so much about the next school year that he starved himself outside the building. Either way, poke it with a stick, see what happens.

Miss. school district bars teacher-student texting

Story: Miss. school district bars teacher-student texting

It's about time. You're telling me they haven't gotten around to forming this policy until now? Are teachers allowed to call students on home phones? Exactly. It's getting harder and harder to get away with steamy teacher-student relationships.

Teacher Accused of Helping Students Cheat

Story: Berkeley Teacher Accused of Helping Students Cheat

If she really wanted test scores to improve, then why didn't she just change the gradebook? If these accusations prove to be true, what a great message she is sending to her 4th graders. Does she also light their cigarettes in the bathrooms?

Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Story: Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Underage kids are always looking for someone to buy them alcohol. It must be easy for the 50+ teenagers that can just rely on one of their teachers to throw the party for them. Is this how she celebrates and rewards high test scores? Does she also steal cars and buy drugs for them too? Certain laws have been around for a long enough time that you think a responsible adult would have knowledge of them. And our critics wonder why we are so harsh on these teachers.

Texas approves Bible course for high schools

Story: Texas State Board of Education approves Bible course for high schools

The good news? Kids might be able to talk their parents out of Sunday School at church. The bad news? Students are going to get confused on test day when their science teacher explained to them about the theory of evolution earlier in the week. And are we going to allow every religion to have a course in high school as well? The students in this class will also be off-key during the Pledge of Allegiance when they're the only ones saying "One nation, under God." But again, on the bright side, the Ohio teacher who likes to burn crosses on kids arms might be able to get a job here.

Patton Oswalt’s Brilliant, Politically Incorrect, Graduation Speech

Story: Patton Oswalt’s Brilliant, Politically Incorrect, Graduation Speech

What starts off as some hack comedian appealing to kids with cussing and pot jokes, actually turns into a decent message. The C-list actor, and claim to fame of Broad Run High School, attempts to inspire the seniors by reminding them that the future is theirs to take a hold of. Encouraging them to get out and do some different things, and make the best of their experiences. Comparing this to the keynote speaker at my graduation...the entire audience of several thousands zoned out when he opened by introducing us by the wrong year. Just goes to show what a little creativity can do.

Mom arrested for stealing teacher's purse

Story: Mom gets jail time for stealing teacher's purse

The best way to thank teachers for all their hard work and dedication is by robbing their purse and going on a shopping spree with their credit card. But I guess what puzzles me, is why teachers are leaving their purses exposed during big ceremonies. I always thought they kept them in the bottom drawer of their desk.

Mom sues school district over bat-infested halls

Story: Mom sues school district over bat-infested halls

We have our research team on this right now because we're not sure if this story is a hoax as an incredible marketing piece for the new Batman movie. If it turns out to be true, then we can only imagine why a school would let hundreds of rabies-ridden bats nest in their hallways. The fact that they made announcements and offered vaccinations for students playing with dead ones, leads me to believe they were well aware of this problem.

Drug dogs will prowl school parking lots

Story: Drug dogs will prowl Osseo school parking lots

Just another reminder that our rights will always be in jeopardy and there is no sense of trust among students and administration. While I am sure that they are targeting specific cases (even though that claim has been denied), the real punch line will occur when teachers start getting caught just as much as students...which will only reflect poorly on the school for hiring these liabilities. Good luck guys! and dogs!

1 in 4 California high school students drop out

Story: 1 in 4 California high school students dropped out in 2006-2007

This statistic needs to be below 10%. Other countries around the world are laughing at what a disgrace our education system has become. The problem is not just in California, but apparently the percentage of children who feel that not being in school is their best option is increasing at an out of control rate. So I guess the question remains, what are we doing to keep them in our schools?

Teacher accused of exposing himself suspended

Story: Teacher accused of exposing himself suspended

I suppose it's good that the school board doesn't want a guy who exposes himself to girls at local community pools working for them anymore. It still begs the question about why this trend of teacher behaving badly is sweeping the nation. I encourage all GOOD and MORAL teachers to leave a comment today about the HEALTHY relationships they are in, just to clarify that we still have some left.

Four Teens Caught Drinking Beer On School Roof

"Nothing makes a man feel more like a man, than drinking a cold bottle of suds on the roof of your middle school."

Story: Police Catch Four Teens Drinking On Middle School Roof

You'd like to think that in order to get to the roof of a building, you must first enter the building. If the roof is accessible, then why not play on top of it? But it really begs the question, how dumb are these kids that they think that school property is the best place to get drunk at? You're telling me there's no woods nearby? Or no one parent's are ever out of town?

Teacher arrested for pulling gun on youths

Story: Harassed teacher arrested for pulling gun

This is also how I generally react when neighborhood kids prank me by ringing my doorbell and running. The joke was on him when he aimed his shotgun at the wrong kids (ages 8-12 by the way). This is certainly the sort of loose canon we need in the education system. I'd like to think, that as a sixth grade teacher, his patience has been tried before.

3 North Carolina teachers arrested for sex crimes

Story: 3 teachers arrested for sex crimes

You think these guys ever got together to compare notes on the best ways to pick up 13-year old girls online? Hasn't everyone seen To Catch a Predator by now? Well, it's good to see teachers are working hard during summer vacation to connect with students on personal levels. If only it wasn't illegal...and completely shameful.

Texas schools hire workers with abuse records

Story: Texas has hired people with abuse records to care for disabled

Florida is hiring people with fake degrees, Texas is hiring people with criminal records, and we still question why schools are failing! Apparently in some places you need absolutely no credentials to teach. Imagine going into a "meet the teacher" night and hearing someone admit that, "Yes, I've been charged with abuse and neglect, but I hope to have a good year with your child." Sign me up!

Teacher Agreed to Commit Suicide with Student

Story: Buffalo Teacher Agreed to Commit Suicide with Eighth Grade Student

Every so often, a teacher and a student are able to share a special bond. Generally what happens, is that the pupil genuinely respects and admires the teacher, and is inspired to reach their goals because of a few encouraging words. Unfortunately, in this case, the teacher decided that neither of their lives were worth continuing. What a professional would have done, was redirect the interests of the 8th grader into something constructive. This lady simply said, "Nope, you don't have a chance."

Mother Loses Kids After Sending Daughter to School With Swastika Drawn on Arm

Story: Mother Loses Kids After Sending Daughter to School With Swastika Drawn on Arm

The law doesn't look to kindly about 7-year old girls coming to school with hate symbols displayed on their bodies. You know what else? Neither does society! We're all kind of hoping that these kids are given a fair chance at bouncing back from their racist brainwashings. The mom, in the meantime, is hanging nooses in her front lawn just in case any of the caseworkers happen to be African American.

Student sexually assaulted near bus stop

Story: Student sexually assaulted near bus stop

Another reason to get good grades during the school year: So you don't get sexually attacked on your way to summer school.

School rebuked for ibuprofen strip search

Story: School rebuked for ibuprofen strip search

OK, so now we know we can't remove girls bra's and shake their panties for pills. The court is telling us that this is a violation of our rights?! I thought we wanted schools to head in the direction of prison life.

Former Teacher Of Year Suspended

Story: Former Teacher Of Year Suspended

Usually the teachers who allow minors to drink at their house do end up being the favorites. But as it turns out, it's against the law to give 17 year olds booze. Sucks for him.

Student Admits To Changing Grades For Years

Story: Student Admits To Changing Grades Online

This really raises two practical concerns: The fact that teachers can be oblivious to how failing students continually get passing grades, and the fact that students have far more technological intelligence than probably every teacher they encounter. Solution? Robots for teachers.

Teacher charged with posting Internet comments

Story: Bradley teacher faces firing for posting Internet comments

If you haven't figured out that posting threatening messages about your co-workers isn't the best idea, especially from a school computer, then maybe it's time to hang it up. Things obviously aren't working our right now. Are we still asking too much when we expect teachers to behave professionally?

School lunch programs hit by food prices

Story: School lunch programs hit by food prices

Essentially it's getting too expensive to feed kids at school. I'm sure the government isn't too concerned about this and it won't really be considered an issue until a few years from now when middle-income families are investigated for neglect because they couldn't afford the school lunch. Maybe then, we'll realize that certain costs in our schools will need to be subsidized to account for the fact our dollar is losing value.

Teacher arrested for identity fraud

Story: First-grade teacher arrested for identity fraud

She has been working about a year with a fake teaching license. We go through all these security measures just to monitor who walks in the front doors every morning, meanwhile printing out a false certificate gets this lady hired in a heartbeat. And Florida wonders how so many sex-offenders slip through the cracks.

Teacher accused of sex with disabled student

Story: Teacher accused of raping disabled teen

And the list goes on... Teachers have grown old of molesting regular-education students, so it only makes sense to go after the physically and mentally challenged. I can't really think of many worse ways to take advantage of the disabled. I heard she spends her free time lurking around handicapped parking spots just licking her lips and waiting patiently.

Teacher Sues School After Resigning Over Howard Stern Bikini Stint

Story: Teacher Sues School Officials After Resigning Over Howard Stern Bikini Stint

Summary: The 2nd grade teacher appeared on Howard Stern. She won some contest for being hot and wearing a bikini (go figure), then she resigned from her job a day later. She is now claiming she was forced out of her position. The moral of the story is: teachers are not allowed to have a life outside of the school. Well they are...it just can't involve sex, drugs or alcohol. Or theft, embezzlement, assault/battery, etc. But seriously, teachers need to make an effort to keep their private lives private. Going on the most popular radio show in syndication to win $5000 might be crossing that line.

School Board member charged with assaulting daughter

Story: Jeffco House candidate charged with assaulting daughter

And we are letting people like this make policies that impact our children? I am gonna act on a hunch here, but if he's willing to slap and choke his own daughter, he is probably not too concerned with the well-being of the thousands of other students in the school district.

Retailers Start to Get Ready for School

Story: Retailers Start to Get Ready for School

It's almost that time of the year again. What is commonly referred to as "Back to School" shopping, but what retailers call "Our opportunity to guilt teens and parents into spending tons of cash because if they don't have our product, they forfeit any chance of self-esteem and popularity." Kohl's and JC Penny's are already having marketing wars for who can have the coolest commercials, and low-income families have already started explaining to their children that "if they don't like you for your clothes, then they aren't real friends anyway."

Secondary Schools Serve Unhealthy Foods

Story: Secondary Schools Serve Unhealthy Foods

So basically, the study concludes that after 5th grade, we give up on the general health and nutrition of students. OR...certain administrators realize that older children have "disposable income" that allows them to buy crap from vending machines all day, which in turn generates a profit for the school. If you're a kid with a dollar in your pocket, are you buying the fruit cup or the bag of Skittles?

Iowa to evaluate "Time Out" limits

Story: State weighs limits on school 'timeouts,' restraints

Apparently some parents don't like the fact that their children spend hours and hours in locked rooms for 'time-out.' This was also in the proposed rules: "Educators can't hold a child face down or otherwise use force that hampers a child's ability to breathe." Based on the fact that they even had to have a discussion about suffocating kids, it makes me glad I don't have a child in Iowa schools. I wonder if they are allowed to hook students up to car batteries as a form of discipline? Or is that going to outlawed too?

Minn. teen charged with offering his vote on eBay

Story: Minn. teen charged with offering his vote on eBay

Had he only done a little research he would have found out that a state law was passed in 1893 forbidding this behavior. But who didn't already know that? The student was under the impression that since we have the right to vote, we ought to have the right to do what we want with that vote. Unfortunately we can't quite exercise our freedom to it's full extent.

Principal encourages teachers to help students cheat

Story: High Test Scores, and Criticism, Follow a South Bronx Principal

They probably could have gotten away with this, until everyone got cocky and decided to make their motto "The Best School in the Universe." It also doesn't help that teachers get $3000 bonuses when their students get above-average test scores.

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