Students find new ways to cheat

Story: Students find new ways to cheat

It used to be such a hassle writing answers on your palms. Now it's as easy as surfing the web on your cell phone during a test. Or taking a picture of it, only to distribute copies to everyone else. Let's hand it to teens, they really have a grasp for creative uses of technology. Maybe this can help spur the debate for the actual value of test-taking.

Georgia girl kicked off football team

Story: Girl kicker booted off school football team

She was immediately forced by the school to enroll in Home-Ec courses instead. The league directors also plan on keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't vote when she turns eighteen. The boys on the team, however, didn't seem to have a problem sharing the locker room with her.

Health care benefits cut for 1,300 employees

Story: Glitch cuts benefits for 1,300 LA school workers

In an effort to save on budget, they were hoping this 'glitch' would go unnoticed. As it turns out the odds are NOT in your favor when you have 1,300 people who you are banking on not getting sick. Rumor has it, they also try and skip out on some paychecks for employees that have direct deposit, and just hope that they don't check their account balances.

Plane crashes into Idaho elementary school

Story: Plane crashes into Idaho elementary school

Not this this is necessarily a result of poor education policies, but it a noteworthy story. As an elementary student, I remember losing my focus if maintenance starting mowing the lawn outside my classroom. I can only imagine having a single-engine Cessna crashing through the window. It's a good thing this school isn't built by a railroad track.

School bans beverages from hallways, classrooms

Story: West Genesee bans beverages from hallways, classrooms

The school was having a huge problem with the students staying properly hydrated. It's only a matter of time until kids are bootlegging Gatorade out of the bathrooms.

Ohio school bans short cheerleader skirts

Story: Ohio School Says Cheerleaders' Skirts Are Too Short

In a related story...attendance at all football and basketball games dropped about 33% this year. For some reason Dads just aren't as interested in watching their kids ride the bench anymore. Although their skirts are no longer appropriate, no changes were made to how annoying their chants can be.

Boy, 11, Takes Grenade To School

Story: Boy Takes Grenade To Show-And-Tell

It's among the items I've considered taking to Show and Tell. G.I. Joe's were way too remedial. If I didn't have actual WWII weapons, I threw a fit. So I know where this boy is coming from. His classmate plans to upstage him next week by being dropped off at school in a tank.

Teacher Accused of Giving Students Cocaine

Story: Teacher Accused of Giving Students Cocaine

She is also accused of stripping for students and allowing them to blow lines off of her chest. Nothing makes parents feel safer about sending their kids to school than knowing their teen can score some coke from their teachers. It really takes 'smoking in the boys room' to the next level. If it wasn't for school metal detectors, she planned on selling small firearms out of her filing cabinets as well.

Teacher charged again with molestation

Story: Former Federal Way teacher charged with molestation

We know they are making the movie (based on the book) "He's Just Not That Into You." Well, also scheduled for release, "He's Actually Really Into You, and It's Absolutely Disgusting." It's sort of a self-help guide for 10-year old girls that have 53-year old men attracted to them. We are hoping everyone learns a little something from it.

School bus drops off first grader miles from home

Story: School bus drops off Red Oak first grader miles from home

But it's ok, they left her with a compass, part of a map, and a series of clues that will help lead her back to her house. To the drivers defense, happy hour was starting early that day and it really didn't seem practical to go to all the bus stops.

Some schools eliminate homework

Story: How much homework is too much?

Many schools are downsizing the homework load, but let's just focus on the one's banning it altogether. Isn't this how we teach responsibility and help encourage learning on your own? Now we're not saying students should have hours every night, but if they don't take home what they hear in class, couldn't the argument be made that the material will be lost? So now teachers will have no choice but to spend half their day reviewing old assignments because no one went home to practice. Why don't we eliminate tests too so we don't force kids into studying either? I think this concept just continues to lower the bar for standards, and we will be left with a generation slightly less capable and intelligent than its predecessors.

School Delays Opening After Shrimp Found on Lot

Story: California Elementary School Delays Opening After Endangered Shrimp Found on Lot

The reason this story is interesting is because they found endangered fairy shrimp on the construction site. If you are not familiar with fairy shrimp, they look just like regular shrimp, but have wings and grant wishes. Unfortunately, rather than wishing for smaller class sizes, the workers opted to ask for invisibility cloaks so they could go into women's locker rooms. Thus, delaying the building of the school another two years.

DetentionSlip Pop Quiz!!! What other post did a Forrest Gump picture appear in? (Please answer in comments section)

Pink hair gets girl suspended

Story: Pink hair gets girl suspended

She wore pink to honor her father who died of cancer. What she forget to remember, was that there is a time and place to love your family...and school is not that place. The administrators had plans to shave it off, but they realized it might become even more of a distraction. Does everyone remember how hard it was to concentrate in class with all those bright colors everywhere in people's hair? Are we a nation with ADHD? With all of the new dress code policies, schools are making it harder and harder to even attend on a regular basis.

Skip school in Texas, wear a GPS bracelet

Story: Texas truant students to be tracked by GPS anklets

Is Texas still trying to secede? Because I don't know how we are letting them get away with all these new policies. Prisoners have more freedom than most of these students. The next step for Texas is genetically manipulating the DNA of all newborns to ensure that each child will grow up to become the ideal student. the answer to the education problem.

D.C. To Pay Students For Attendance, Behavior

Story: D.C. To Pay Middle School Students For Attendance, Behavior

The article quotes that this is, "in an effort to get them to focus on school." It sounds to me like we are teaching them at a young age that money is the driving force behind everything. The only incentive for being a responsible student, is a financial gain. It's just one big bribe. Again, I would like to think there is a better way to invest $3 million towards education.

Story featured on this Carnival.

Cop calls teen girls MySpace pics "slutty" at High school lecture

Story: MySpace lecture generates outrage

An officer held an assembly where he pulled up pictures from MySpace of students in that high school. OK, this proves how easily accessible your information is, fine. He then went on to single girls out and describe how sexual predators would have no problem masturbating to these "slutty" pics and if given the chance, try to rape them. As you can imagine, these graphic details are when the outrage begins. For some unknown reasons, parents didn't like a cop calling their daughters sluts.

Texas school bans blue and red shirts

Story: Taylor High School bans certain T-shirts

Well this doesn't sound very patriotic. The idea is to curb the gang problem in the school. Apparently if you moderate which color shirts students wear, gang conflict will be completely eliminated. They are also banning shirts with pictures of jewelry or money. Growing up, I remember these clearly being the biggest threats to my safety. Again, let's chalk this up to a step in the wrong direction toward improving the state of education.

Student killed in shooting at Tennessee school

Story: Student killed in shooting at Tenn. school

Now, if this would have happened in Texas, the teachers would then have the authority to shoot down the gunner? Why? Because two wrongs make a right. Not to take away from the tragic impact this may have on those involved, but at some point we need to address the the gun problem in America...and it's not by inviting weapons into teachers desks. The real shame is that the cost of public education is sometimes fatal.

200,000 Kids Physically Punished In School

Story: 200,000 Kids Physically Punished In School

Again, not all in the same day...that would be a record. But apparently corporal punishment is sweeping the nation as if it were the 1920's again. For what it's worth, the study also shows the the rate is higher among minorities. If violence is our preferred method of problem solving, why don't we hit teachers every time they screw up?

Disabled student cleared in wheelchair mishap

Story: Disabled student cleared in wheelchair mishap

The student has a "history of crashing into people in his wheelchair and zipping blindly around corners." On a related note, most physically-abled students in high school have a history of running into people in the hallways. A lawsuit was brought against this boy because he ran over a girls foot and ripped her toenail off. Well, I guess we now have our argument for why sandals need to be banned in schools.

Four Teens Arrested for Breaking into School

Story: Four Teens Arrested for Breaking into School

Among the items stolen were "musical instruments...coins from vending machines... and $5 worth of coins from a teacher's office." The easiest way to solve this caper is to hang out at the arcades and see who has huge saxophones sticking out of their coats.

School bus mix-up takes 6-year old boy to Mexico

Story: Boy wanders into Mexico after school bus mix-up

It's a simple mistake that lends itself to complete lack of accountability. What starts as a normal bus ride home, ends in an unexpected trip across the border to a totally different country. At least this little boy has a head start on his classmates in geography.

Teacher accused of having sex with 12-year-old student

Story: Teacher accused of having sex with 12-year-old student

Some people try using the excuse, "My dog ate my homework." This boy was able to use the old "My 42-year old teacher was having sex with me, so I was unable to finish my assignments." But honestly, I can see how tempting it is to want to just go nuts in bed with a 12-year old boy. If I were her, I would leave this one off of my resume.

Teen drops out of school to play Guitar Hero

Story: Teen drops out of school to play Guitar Hero

I don't remember the nerds who played Donkey Kong dropping out. They just kind of hung out in the back of the classroom, unrecognized, and probably maintained a B+ average. As a parent though, nothing is more satisfying than knowing your 16-year old son is giving up his education for video games. There's not a chance that this is just a phase either...I see a bright future in learning fake guitar chords. Too bad there is not a video game called Graduate High School.

Texas school district letting teachers carry guns

Story: Texas school district letting teachers carry guns

There's only three things in Texas: Steers, Queers, and Teachers with Guns. I also assume it is now well within the teachers judgment for when they feel the need to shoot a child. I'll bet a parent would love to get the phone call: "I'm sorry, your son became disruptive in class so I put a bullet through his chest. I hope you understand." Do guns prevent violence or encourage and facilitate it? And what's going to happen when a student is able to get control of one of these firearms? This just has bad idea written all over it. But again, Texas is really taking it up a notch this school year in terms of ridiculous policies.

Freshmen Must Wear School T-Shirts


Story: Kathleen High Freshmen Must Wear School T-Shirts

They are forcing freshmen to wear a shirt that has some catchy acronym to support freshmen pride. Are the people making these decisions new to the education industry? They are also not allowing the students to wash them, as they will only have one shirt to wear the entire year. In addition, they must all have the same haircut, and march in unison down the hallways...until they are picked on by upperclassmen, then they can run.

School sued for English-only policy

Story: English-only lawsuit underway

The principal is also under some heat for forcing handicapped students to walk. She justified this policy because she felt too many Spanish-speaking students were talking badly about others. But isn't that what kids do? Pick on each other? We attempted to contact this principal, but she was rumored to be building fences along the Mexico-USA border.

Principal faces dismissal over 'flirting' e-mails

Story: Watertown elementary principal faces dismissal over 'flirting' e-mails

Luckily, he was only emailing a teacher, and not 5th grade girls. But correct me if I'm wrong, don't most companies, schools included, have 1.) Policies about using email for personal reasons and 2.) Policies about dating your superiors. He should have just stuck to the old fashioned way by taping a note to her door saying "Do you like me? Circle yes or no."

Teen battles school's Confederate flag ban

Story: Tenn. teen battles school's Confederate flag ban

Some argue it's racist. He argues it's family pride. Others argue that they are just plain tired of public schools telling students what they can and cannot wear. This kid didn't get suspended for waving a huge flag around an African-American community, but because it was depicted on his belt buckle. As a precautionary measure, the school plans to ban belts altogether to prevent any other students from trying a stunt like this.

Gloucester 'Pregnancy Pact' Principal Quits

Story: Pregnancy Pact Principal Resigns, Stands by His Claims

After realizing that neither the superintendent nor town mayor supported him, it only made sense to leave the position. He still believes, as does the rest of the world (except for the town of Gloucester who is afraid to damage their image), that it is NO COINCIDENCE that 17 girls got pregnant at once. Rather than learn from this, the school would rather move on and pretend this sort of thing happens all the time. But if there's anyone in the area needing some part-time cash, there will be 17 babysitting jobs opening up in about 4-5 years.

Boy, 8, stabs girl in stomach on school bus

Story: Boy, 8, stabs girl with pencil on school bus

Elementary school students are completely uneducated about how abortions actually work. But it guess it proves true that "the pen is mightier than the sword."

Tensions flare at Texas dress code meeting

Story: Tensions flare over Texas school dress code

Who would have thought parents would be against the idea of their children being forced to wear prison-like jumpsuits for violating dress code? They had to call the police because the school could not control this meeting. We originally thought this crazy idea would only last a couple days into the school year, but it turns out it might not even make it to day one. Hopefully this is a wake up call and we stop allowing idiots to create policies that affect thousands of parents and children in the community.

Paying students for good grades?

Story 1: Good grades pay off literally

Story 2:
Learn to Earn

NCLB is having so many positive side effects in education. Now we are paying students in some cities when they receive good scores. We can't think of any better way to spend money towards improving education? This is completely stripping them of any sense of "going to school to learn." Students are becoming more focused on whether or not they're going to be getting $20 for their math test, and over-looking the fact that the rest of their lives will not be incentive-based. How about we put this "allowance" into some kind of fund towards higher education, instead of having a classroom full of 4th graders with nicer cell phones than their teachers. So really, is this what we are resorting to? Teachers have gotten so bad at motivating students that the only way to get them to study is by paying them off?
Bad idea.

Story featured on this Carnival.

Houston bans all cell phone use near school

Story: Houston suburb bans all cell phone use near school

Though no danger has ever been caused, cell phones are being linked to virtually all "near-accidents" in Texas. However, when a real emergency does occur, they do have extensive plans for using smoke signals and megaphones to contact local authorities.

California parents may home-school children without teaching credential

Story: Parents may home-school children without teaching credential

Prior to this, they forced students to attend crappy schools and be exposed to problems that hinder their education and threaten their safety. Now, they have that option, or to keep them home and jeopardize the development of their social skills, and never get to dance in a senior prom :( But it is nice to know that parents now have the right to decide what is best for their children.

41,000 Conn. students suspended from school

Story: Report: 41,000 students suspended from school

...Not all in the same day, that would be a record. What the study also found, was that overwhelmingly the rates were higher for students with poorer family income, lower grades, and students of color. Generally, it's for minor infractions, such as dress code violations. The lesson here is that schools are trying their best to keep kids OUT of the classroom. I can only imagine what the rates are in other states, you know...the states with real problems.

Non-Hawaiians Sue Over Kamehameha Admissions

Story: More Non-Hawaiians Sue Over Kamehameha Schools Admissions

Basically, these school give whites (and other non-natives) a hard time getting in. Like most other institutions in the 21st century, they are trying their best to separate all colors of people. Hey Hawaii, you've already got beautiful weather and women, how about sharing some with the rest of us? Much like the "brown paper bag" test during the Civil Rights era, Hawaii has instituted a "golden bronzed" test...where if your skin can't get dark from tanning, you're out!

Employee steals $100K of computers from school

Story: School employee accused of $100K theft

I have heard that one of the biggest pitfalls for introducing technology in the classrooms, was the threat that a school employee will wipe out the computer lab and leave it a ghost town. What's funny is that the missing equipment showed up at a church. Something tells me that Jesus doesn't think to highly of grand theft. Too bad...this guy will not only lose his job, but also spend eternity in damnation suffering for his sins.

Teacher Accused Of Soliciting Prostitute

Story: Lincoln High School Teacher Accused Of Soliciting Prostitute

"...he told the officer the cash was only to help her out with college." What a kind-hearted philanthropist. As an educator, he knows the struggles of affording higher education. Unfortunately, he might also know the struggles of sex-deprived middle aged men. Sometimes, you can't win them all.

Principal allegedly tried to cover-up grade change

Story: Principal allegedly tried to cover-up grade change

Summary: Athletes get failing grades. Principal tells teacher to to change grades so athletes can be eligible. Athletes lead basketball and football teams to state playoffs. Everyone knows that sports come before morals or education. It sucks for the students who actually have to study and earn good grades. We are paving quite the yellow brick road for these students future. It's not contradictory at all.

School bully problem? Send in the clown

Story: School bully problem? Send in the clown

Really? A clown in the rodeo is the most qualified person we can find to educate youth about bullying? I almost interpret this as the schools way of treating the issue as a joke. I applaud the fact that we are not ignoring this epidemic problem...even though bullying has existed FOREVER, but since kids are wimps nowadays we have to treat every situation delicately. If only the boys from Columbine could have had someone make them balloon animals first, history could have been different.

Alabama student planned attack on opening day

Story: Police say Ardmore student planned attack on opening day

OK, it's good that this was prevented. However, something tells me that it would have been diverted when school started anyway because everyone would have noticed a student walking around with swords. This is just another case of a teen being picked on and secluded, and since school violence is glorified on national news stations, he thought it was his only option left. Read the above story to see how some schools are combating bullying.

NYC teacher tires of student taunts, sues school

Story: NYC teacher tires of student taunts, sues school

Is calling a teacher a "bitch licker" and throwing condoms at her really crossing the line? Normally this headline would read "Teacher fired for assaulting students," but she appears to have demonstrated some restraint and professionalism. Leave it to the administration to turn it around and blame her for wearing "suggestive clothing." Surprised? Maybe this school needs to start using the paddle.

School charges students to use lockers

Story: For Choctaw students, lockers cost $5 each

Texas is really pulling out all the stops here. Next there will be a desk fee, a hallway maintenance fee, a cover charge for the cafeteria, and coin operated bathroom stalls. It's really telling about the state of our schools when we have to gouge children just to use space in the school. I feel bad for the poorer students who will be forced to carry around a shit load of books with them all day because they can't afford a locker.

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